Beyond the Horizon

Follow the Heart

2011-10-17T09:31:00.004+08:00

Sometimes, the heart resonates with you in a way that you've never felt before... in a way... that you don't even know how to express it... it seems like no words, actions or emotions can express the way your heart speaks to you.

Have you ever wondered... what the heart is?

Have you ever asked yourself, what does it mean when people say, "Follow your heart"?

The heart, with or without you noticing, have always been there, sending signals to you, channeling its essence to your entire body, showing you the way and leading you in the right direction. Even though no one is there for you, your heart will always be there for you.

But how do we know that the signals we receive are the right ones, but not those that has been modified? Why is it that sometimes when we believe that what we feel is what the heart is trying to tell us and we follow it, leading us to grief, sorrow and regret for the decisions we make?

What is the heart trying to tell us? Where is the heart trying to lead us? What is it actually trying to say? Why are we getting the wrong message all the time?

What is the heart? What is it made of? Is the heart based on emotions?? Or is the heard based on thoughts? How do we know whether our instincts are right or wrong? How do we connect to our heart the right way and not misunderstanding it?

The heart... is an essence filled with love.

The heart does not tell us to follow our emotions all the time, but take time to think rationally about the decisions we are about to make.

Emotions tell us to chase after that guy/girl we are so crazy about. The heart tells us that being his/her partner is not the only way we can show our love to him/her.

Logic tells us to protect ourselves in the society and be firm so that no one will step over you or harm you. The heart tells us that there are many people in the society who are afraid or being stepped on and we should show our love to him/her to take the fear away.

Where does all the love and energy come from? Where does the heart come from? How did it become part of us? How did this source of love exist in each and every one of us? How does the heart know/feel/believe so many things, so many... right things? How do we know that we have really 'followed our heart'? How do we connect with our heart?

Aren't these answers that we should find out for ourselves?

Isn't this... why we are here for? =)

The first few pages

2011-05-17T18:52:00.009+08:00

My life is going great with each passing day. I meet new friends, new responsibilites, new experiences and more. I was occupied in writing down stuffs after stuffs into my book, going page after page, wanting to write more and more. I can't wait to see how the next page is going to be! I will keep writing!

Somehow, all of a sudden, my bold pen broke down. I have nothing to write on my book now. At this very moment, I felt.

This is not my style of writing.

I don't feel... myself walking through the pages.

Flipping through my life book, looking at the front pages, I asked myself, "Is this me? Is this who I am? Am I writing my real self into this book?" No... something is missing... someone is missing...

I am missing.

Where am I now? From which page did I start to leave myself behind?

Have you been calling me all the time? Have I been too busy writing the next pages ahead, until I hardly even take notice of you? Have I been neglecting you all these times, deceiving myself that I am who I am, when you're far behind crying out your heart for me to hear your voice?

Have I been rejecting you into my life?

I have not been honest with myself, with my feelings, with my guts, with my confidence. Where were all these, that I used to have before? Why are they gone? Is it because they have all been left behind, at a page behind me? Am I shaping myself into something I'm not?

"Leave everything to the Universe and let the Universe decide our path ahead." Have I been taking that as an excuse to cover up the fact that I'm scared of rejection and I fear taking risks?

This song seeps into me so much. No, it's not the name of the song that matters. It's just... the flow.

The flow that takes me back... to what I've written...

No matter. It ends as soon as it is realized. I'm sorry for leaving you behind. Now, I already got something to write on the book now. Time for me to continue writing my book.

This time, with myself.

Thank you for the pencil you have kept for me all these times.

什么都没有, 也没有放弃的念头

2010-11-22T14:39:00.004+08:00

It has been a ride.

In some parts of life, among all those business, hard work, efforts, tears, appreciation, friendship... passing through the ebbs and flows, staring up ahead, you see more waves waiting for you to surpass them.

You look down. Although the waves are strong and keep pushing you back, but the water is cool, sometimes cold, sometimes warm. When it is clear, you can see fishes. The waters are welcoming, although is it difficult to fight against the waves, but something deep down you makes you feel... peaceful.

Looking besides, you see more people, side by side with you, pushing through the waves together. If there is something they don't have, it is the thought of giving up. They motivate you. Inspire you. Making you realize that you can't give up and you must do your best to strive forwards.

You look back. You stare at the shore far behind you. Although there is a long way to go up ahead, by staring at the distance between you and the shore, you can't believe how far you have been, how much you have grown, how strong you have become. From a child, not wanting to cross the ocean, until now, YOU, swimming across the ocean with style.

When the waters are unclear, when the waves ahead of you looks gigantic and seem impossible to surpass, when you can no longer see any island or shore, when you don't see anyone else besides you, when you are about to give up...

Look up to the sky.

There is still hope.

D.A.M.I.L.Y

2010-08-18T10:05:00.006+08:00

Dad...

Alison...

Mum...

Somehow...

The next 3 words...

Are just not enough to describe...

This feeling.

The other side of the field

2010-08-17T07:39:00.004+08:00

This side of the field is comfortable. The grass is green, the area is wide and there's nothing much to worry about. All you can do is lie down on the grass and stare at the blue sky, sharing the same bright sun.

You thought that the field is all green, cozy and warm.

Little did you know, that the other side of the field, across the river dividing the field...

Is burning.

Here, enjoying the green grass and not being able to go back, swim across the river and help the other side of the field...

Actually... hurts.

I pray for my family and friends.

Window

2010-07-23T10:59:00.006+08:00

When you look out at the window for the first time in your life, you will feel curious, excited and scared at the same time.

We feel curious because there is a world of so much amazing things out there waiting for us to feel, to experience and to be with.

We feel excited because there is a world of opportunities beyond that window for us to grasp and strive forwards.

We feel scared because there is a world of uncertainties beyond that window for us to tackle and fall backwards.

People who walked out of that door into the world seen through the window were never seen coming back into the house ever again. Once they stepped out of the house, their world no longer lies within the barriers of windows and doors, but beyond.

Some people walk their new world with pride and joy. Some kneel down, hands covering their faces. Some pray to walk back into the house. No matter what you do, your world has changed once you stepped out of that door. It is up to you on how to face your new world - either with excitement, caution or fear.

Doors will open. New steps will surface. Futures will build. Goals will set. True selves will form. Lives will change.

And here I am, staring out from the window in my room...

Waiting for my turn...

To step out of that door.

Raindrops

2010-07-16T10:41:00.003+08:00

Sometimes it really makes you wonder why does it rain. When you look above the sky, you see raindrops falling down, slowly landing upon the fields. Rain usually makes you wander off into your thoughts and sometimes, you get lost in it. The rain symbolizes peace, serenity and gentle touches from Heaven.

Yet, it also symbolizes sadness, cloudiness, tears from Heaven. It gives people a mixture of feelings. It gives a smile and welcoming arms to those who love rain and the cool weather it brings us. It also tunes down our mood and gives a sense of loneliness deep down ourselves, spreading a colour of blue on our emotions.

The rain describes both hope and grief.

Tears from the sky could come from both joy and sadness.

Does it rain for a reason? Is it trying to tell us something? Or rather, it is just another amazing creation of the Creator in the Universe?

As this makes you wonder and wander lost in thoughts, the raindrops keep falling...

Optimism

2010-06-25T09:50:00.005+08:00

I think I finally understand what optimism really is. =)

It's not about convincing other people and telling yourself that you're thinking positive. Neither is it typing statuses with smileyfaces and cute emoticons too. Which reminds me! You guys! Be sure when is the right time to use smiley faces, like, =), :), =D etc... If you type them too much, they'll lose their meaning. If you type them once in a while, you'll send the message to your friends clearer, in a way that they'll think that you're really happy, because you don't really type the smileyface and now you do. Hahaha! Err... I hear one of you out there... are you typing smileyfaces just because you want to sound friendly and not serious or angry? Well, I agree at that point... there's a huge difference between:

"Just be yourself!" AND "Just be yourself! =)"

Well, it depends on how you use it, that is true.

Anyway, my main point is, to build true optimism, it involves many times of falling down and getting up, standing up among all the negativities and look down with a smile, being able to get up from failure and determine yourself to strive for success! Optimism is not something you gain just by hearing or thinking, you have to really experience it to realize for yourself. For the past few years I was living in pessimism and thinking negatively, always worrying about the future and stuffs. Now? I still think like that, haha! But I am starting to let all these go.

Optimism comes from the heart through experience and realization, not from the mind through thoughts and assumptions.

I think I finally understand: "When there is a will, there is a way."

Hmm? The button? It's not that dreadful anymore, I pressed it down long time ago, what are you talking about? =P

Gather

2010-06-21T02:51:00.004+08:00

All you need to do is press the button.

When you do that, the gears will start turning. When the gears start to turn, there is no stopping them. And the only thing you can do is go along with them.

Sometimes, it's worth wondering over some coincidences that occur in our lives. Will you be amazed on how right the timing is, for that exact time at that exact place, you'll meet people that either become your friends, your best friends, your partner, or your enemy? Sometimes, although it's just a few minutes, yet a stranger might give you the greatest lesson you ever had? What makes us meet the specific people at that particular moment?

It's like each and every one of us have unseen bonds connecting each other, just waiting for the time to meet face to face. You can't see it, neither can you feel it, but it is there. When you enter a new environment, at that particular moment, you'll meet up with these people that will be in your lives till the end of days. You never know how they appear to be at that same place with yours, but they're just there. It is amazing and blissful at the same time.

For some rare cases, these people are exactly there with you to witness a happening together. To be in an event with you. Probably a big project or something. These people will suddenly enter your lives, while you get along with them very well, little did anyone know that there is something coming upon them, when the time comes, all of these people will have to stand back to back , hand in hand and overcome all the adversities together.

Have you ever met an incident like this before in your life? I just did. While in Perth, I'm suddenly meeting people whom I never talked to before, yet when together, it's like we've been friends for years. How each of us can connect and communicate with one another so easily is just so amazing. The surprising thing is, we all think alike. Deep down, something is telling us - that something is coming.

Am I thinking too much, like I've did for the past few years? Am I trying to show off on how weird I think things in life and type them all here? Am I just making you more confused onto why I type so many mysterious and confusing blog posts? Or am I just over-analyzing things and worrying too much about the future?

That does not matter to me anymore.

Ready to face the truth and find out the answers to solve all confusions and anomalies, and strive hard to overcome the adversities?

Simple.

All you need to do is press the button.

^^

2010-06-06T18:29:00.003+08:00

I enjoyed my life until this day.

I enjoyed having my family and I love them until this day.

I enjoyed my stay in Perth, from last year until this day.

I enjoyed having so many friends, who all support me in whatever I do, right until this day.

I enjoyed getting to know so many different people, until this day.

I enjoyed being part of Kian Kok, KDU College and Murdoch University, right until this day.

I enjoyed the cool weather in Perth, until this day.

I enjoyed stalking from my window in Flat 49 for any of my friends to pass by, right until this day.

I enjoyed Berri Apple Juice, Chocolate Mud Cake, and Arnotts' Tim-Tam, right till this day.

I enjoyed people getting shocked from my new hair cut, right until this day.

---------------

I enjoyed myself.... And I will keep enjoying myself.

---------------

I will keep enjoying it when people get shocked from my new hair cut.

I will keep enjoying Berri Apple Juice, Chocolate Mud Cake, and Arnotts' Tim-Tam.

I will keep enjoying stalking from my window in Flat 49 for any of my friends to pass by.

I will keep enjoying the cool weather in Perth.

I will keep enjoying being part of Kian Kok, KDU College and Murdoch University.

I will keep enjoying getting to know so many different people.

I will keep enjoying having so many friends, who all support me in whatever I do.

I will keep enjoying my stay in Perth, from last year.

I will keep enjoying having my family and I love them.

I will keep enjoying my life.

Till the end of days.

Coincidences

2010-05-25T08:14:00.005+08:00

Imagine a millennium turtle swimming in the ocean. Every 100 years, it will pop up its head out of the ocean to look at the sky. There is no telling where will the turtle pops its head out at. After that, the turtle will sink back and swim deep down. It will emerge and pop its head out again after 100 years.

Imagine a square-shaped wooden plank floating in the ocean. Right at the center of the wooden plank is a circular hole, big enough for a leg to go through. It floats all around the ocean, drifting pass Australia, Antarctica, Greenland, etc. It keeps drifting.

Now, after a 100 years, the turtle re-emerges to the surface and pops out its head. At that exact same moment, the turtle popped its head right through the hole of the wooden plank, in the middle of the vast ocean.

Too much of a coincidence, you say? That is exactly what I was in.

I just came back from a party yesterday. A lot of things happened and its coincidence is just... too great to be described in words. Being at a place like that just makes you want to cry for joy. No, I am not exaggerating. If you were there, I am sure you will as well. You don't have to know what has happened in the party - words cannot finish the entire story and event. But all I can tell is - that night was full of coincidences, so great, so true, that you do not want it to end. Everyone was so happy, the positive atmosphere was so strong.

After some positive synchronizing, I came to a temporary conclusion about my life.

"I have learnt and realized a lot......

......but there is so much more to learn and realize..."

We were pranked.

2010-05-15T09:53:00.002+08:00

Good morning everybody! It really is rare for me to upload a blog post, but I realized this is something worth sharing, so here you go.

It was around 2.40am in the morning on this day (15/5/2010), at that time, I was in my friend's flat , Ismail's flat to be exact, chatting with my friends. For your info, the flat is downstairs and the room door i was in with 2 of my friends were wide open. All of a sudden, we heard a very loud hissing noise outside the room. Then, we saw black gas pouring in into the corridor and right into our room. We were all shocked and surprised. My friend, Pravish, acted on instinct and immediately slammed the room door shut. That was very wise of him to do so. Because we would not know whether the black gas is poisonous or not. The hissing kept going on. Perhaps when my friend slammed the door, the hissing stopped. Pravish and I immediately bolted out of the room to the living room. We saw a fire extinguisher on the ground.

I didn't manage to take a photo of it, so I give you this Google-Imaged file that looks just like the one we saw. So that is what made the black gas and the hissing sound. That's strange, I don't recall my friends having a fire extinguisher in their flats.

We noticed that the sliding door was wide open. We ran out of the flat right to the parking lot outside the flat. We saw 2 guys carrying a set of fire extinguishers, pulling them out of a vehicle's boot and running away. We were able to catch them, beat them up and give them a piece of our minds for real. They will pay for this! We will hunt them down, spray the fire extinguisher all over their freaking faces and let them eat our poop!

Nah, you all know I'm not that evil.

We decided to let them go. There really is no point to cause harm to ourselves (and to our friends) by provoking them to come over. After everyone recovered from the shock, another friend of mine called security. We explained the incident as detailed as possible. Unfortunately, we don't remember which vehicle did they take out the set from. Otherwise we might be able to provide more details. While security was inspecting the vehicles, I actually checked and see for any sign or evidence that they had left.

Too much forensics for me. xD

We headed back to Ismail's flat, had a talk about it, and realized that we did not lock the sliding door. That explains why the pranksters were able to get in the flat and spray the fire extinguisher. You do realize that I mentioned 'pranksters'. Yes, it is very obvious that we were pranked. No one got hurt, no one was still under shock, nothing was lost, so let them go. They mean no harm, just trying to make a prank with us, I see no need to take revenge or kick their asses next time. Besides, it's our fault for not locking the sliding door.

Moral of the story?

Lock the god-damn door!

Synchronizing.

2010-05-12T10:41:00.004+08:00

Ladies and gentlemen, if you're seeing this blog post, the first thing you should know is that I am currently synchronizing.

If you would be so damn free to check my Facebook status (or MSN personal message), you would realize that I would type "Jonathan Wjy is synchronizing." I am trying very hard to catch up with reality and the truth. To cope up with my overloading stress, both physically and mentally. To understand and try to adapt myself to my environment and reality itself. To have some time to recover from any mental breakdown I might have.

To tell that... I am... at that moment... mentally weak.

I always have a rule in Facebook, or in anything I chat, type or write. I will never, no matter what, never tell other people about my problems and issues, neither would I complain or piss off in the statuses or nicknames I have. I know other people who see this won't feel good and due to that, I might upset them. Besides, it really is inappropriate to upset others because we are ourselves, right? With words like "I am suffering" or "I am dying" or "I lost myself", these words will do nothing but keep people worried like shit now, isn't that true? That's why I'll never do that, and whatever you say, I still won't.

Because, after all, it is my fault every time this happens, so being in this current state and I deserve that. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm currently very challenged with one of my units and I have issues with people recommending flowers for me to pick. I want to announce that I will not pick a single flower at all and I will do whatever it takes - to get through my studies and my unit. For the last 7 months of my degree.

I will resume my assignment after typing this.

Now, I am synchronizing.

Nothing much but updates

2010-05-06T01:26:00.003+08:00

I have nothing but updates now... having 5 assignments due in two weeks... let's see... hmm...

A summary report due this Friday.

2 reports due this sunday. One a summary and the other a report to be fought in a law court.

1 research essay due next Friday.

One freaking JAVA GUI program due next Friday as well. OH GOD. This assignment drives me nuts.

So, basically that's it. Recently, due to my assignment chain, I had been hanging out with a bunch of really crazy and abnormal friends. But they're cool and won't affect me doing my assignment. After all, when you're concentrating, nothing will bother you whatsoever. =)

Going to Caversham this Saturday again, must finish the 3 assignments before heading there! Good luck to all my friends having assignments, projects and exams! May's gonna be a tough month, but after the sour comes the sweet, so let's stay strong and give those freedom-killers a piece of our minds! >:)

2010-04-21T06:46:00.003+08:00

You'll realize that life is always busy if you stop procrastinating.

Anyway, it's been a while guys! How are your studies going lately? Any interesting updates in your life? Or anything sad? Whatsoever, be in mind that these are all just experiences in daily life. Don't be depressed over the sad issues and don't get too cocky over the happy issues. There is always something to learn from something, that is what makes life meaningful. =)

Once again, I thank all of you out there for supporting my first DotA video ever. Whether you know DotA or not, thanks for your support. It was really a success, well, just in my social network circle, not outside yet. XD But seriously, your comments and likes are much appreciated. Really motivates me to make more videos. However, with the loads of assignments coming up, hopefully I can. Haha! For those of you who haven't seen the video I made for my clan, you can either find it in my Facebook profile, or check out this YouTube link:

DotA - Ace Of Spades

Oh by the way, I woke up at 4am to get one of my assignments done and i'm still doing it, hence the time this blog is created. Feeling very tired, but I have to be strong, because there will be more days as busy as the days I had last week till now. Must survive till the end!

Still thinking a lot about life and its philosophies. I heard a lot from my friends and family and some strangers as well. Really hope to understand them and share it with people who need it. Till today, I always believe these:

- Everything happens for a reason.

- There is always a good side of things.

- If you have troubles and are worried about them, you're not being optimistic even if you say you are.

- It is good not to give up in life no matter what, however we must know our limits and the current situation instead of ramming head straight to layers of walls. That applies to love, specifically to love.

Will share more if the time comes. Well now, off to complete my assignment. Wish me luck and I wish you luck in whatever you're fighting for! GOOD LUCK! ^^

2010-04-06T02:38:00.002+08:00

Hello readers! I'm updated this blog today to make an announcement.

My clan, Clan AoS and I finally got our first DotA video ever, all played, edited and created by ourselves! Of course, we can't compete with all the other DotA video players and video editors world wide - they have way more experiences than us. However, we have no intention in winning anyone. This video is made specially as a tribute for all my dear KDU friends whom I spent time with together while in KL and has no means in competing with other DotA videos. You'll notice that most of the scenes are from AI scenes. That is to show that we all began playing DotA with AIs as our opponents. This is to mark the start of our journey to the DotA world, as we had decided that if we are to have another video, we will not have any more AI scenes within the video. So do not have any prejudice towards our video just because our opponents are computers or bots. Enjoy the ride and you'll enjoy the video. ^^

Our video - DotA: Ace Of Spades - will be uploaded Facebook-wide on 7th April, 2010, 9PM. Be sure to check out our video and give us your honest feedback.

Very well then, Ace of Spades, Coming Soon!!!

Some updates

2010-04-03T07:23:00.002+08:00

Hello everyone! It's funny to know why every time when I update my blog, many people knows about it and they'll come check my blog. That's really nice of you all. Until this day, I thank you all for dropping by my blog, it means a lot to me.

Anyway, here are some updates.

- Easter Break is starting! From 2nd April (yesterday) till 5th April! My study break is starting too! From 5th April till 11th April! A long holiday this time! =D But well, should start focusing on catching up with my studies, especially JAVA. That assignment also got me killed.

- I'm still staying at the same flat. My new flatmates got pets for themselves. The only female flatmate got herself 2 guinea pigs and 2 birds. One a cockatoo and the other a pudgy. While my flatmate living right in front of my room got himself a ragdoll kitten. Man, his ragdoll kitten is cute! It's so cute, that whoever sees it, will want a piece of Tacho. Oh yeah, that's his name. So yeah, my flat is half a pet store now. XD

- Currently working on a DotA video - 'DotA: Ace Of Spades' - in tribute to all those who played DotA with me during my KDU times. So for any DotA fans out there, if my video comes out, be sure to support. =) I'll put the video on Facebook, not on YouTube. However, due to my studies and problem catching up, I doubt I'll be making another video after the first...

- Just realized that I dislike arguments, complaints, whines and such. They're all not good for the ear and the heart. It just creates distance between people. That includes those statuses on Facebook.

- I don't think I'll type any more sentiment posts for now. Too much of those aren't good as well. ^^ So if you want updates from me, just come back from time to time. =D

- Me? A party guy? Nah, I'm not that kind of guy anymore. Last semester, yeah, I lost myself to gaining attention. Now, nah. XD

- I still don't drink and smoke or 'screw' around.

- So basically, I'm still me. The only difference is that I gained more perspectives in life, that's all, like everyone else. Still a crazy person, still fooling around, still being fooled at, still me!!

That's it for now! I got one more assignment to attend to. Looking forwards to my study break. =| <--- is the most neutral expression of all times. Right in between =) and =(. Haha! Till then everybody!!

The colour of hope is green.

2010-03-22T06:37:00.004+08:00

Trees are green. Leaves are green. Nature is green.

Hope is green.

You don't have to ask, I'm also wondering why I haven't update my blog lately. XD

I am slowly getting convinced by a lot of facts in life with each passing day. "Things will always work out if you do whatever you have or want to do without worrying about the consequences." This is true. By not worrying, means not even having the slightest bit of worry, not to even think about it so much, because usually if you are, you're worrying about it deep down. Ask yourself and you'll find it true. Once you stop worrying, it always comes.

You probably think that I'm thinking too much, or making this sound too serious when it's not supposed to. Haha, I sure am the old JY, always thinking too much when I'm not supposed to. But I'm glad I did. Just because I think too much, I am where I am now. But thanks to my best friend in KDU, he thought me not to feel depressed or worry too much while thinking, that'll do. He's right. =)

Just because of thinking so much, I understood a lot about the world, about the facts of life and how we, as normal human beings, have the ultimate power to change the world. How we can make sure that December 21st, 2012 will not happen.

Ladies and gentlemen, if you're seeing this right now, I'm here to change your views on 2012 once and for all. We will never know whether this day will come, wiping us off from the surface of Earth. The Mayan stopped writing about what's gonna happen after December 21st, 2012. They did that for a reason. They want us, human beings, to decide for ourselves, to use our hands to shape the future, to work together as one to change our fate.

To give hope.

All you have to do, is to believe. To hope that we'll have a better future.

Of course, based on all the happenings and disasters around us, it is really hard to believe that. But don't stop. This is EXACTLY why we must believe for a better future.

I'm sure most of you understand that our world is slowly dying with each passing day. But we cannot give up hope just because of that. Yes, we are not capable of changing the world or making all these pollutions, global warming stop. But we can hope. It's a strong power that every individual possess, whether they realized it or not. One person doing so isn't enough. That is why we must hope together, to pass on this strength to individuals all around us, telling them to pray and believe deep down, to give hope to each of them.

How to give hope? A lot of people have been giving hope to people around the world using different methods. Some give motivational speeches. Some pray sincerely to God. Some make campaigns to protect Mother Earth from pollutions. Some just spread the word to other people, making them think positive.

You have this power. You are capable of doing anything in the world, no matter how weak, how disabled or how ugly you are. It doesn't matter. The mind is a very powerful organ, with the mind, we know what pain is, we know what emotions are. Now, with the power of the brain, we will know what hope is. We all posses this strong, immeasurable ability.

You have to believe in yourself. If you really do, you will have the power to give other people hope.

I call this power - the force of the Universe.

The force of the Universe is a very powerful and mystical force. However, no words can be used to describe it. Ever since we're born in Earth, we already posses this power. Because we're part of the Universe. Once we die, we go straight back to the Universe. It lies deep down our souls, but by believing deeply in yourself and hope, you will be able to trigger this force, to do things that you never thought you could, to do the impossible. That is why people on wheelchairs can run so long and far. That is why there are so many successful people out there. That is why we have Einstein, Newton and many others.

That is why... I can type this.

We can do this. We can believe deeply in ourselves that our hopes can change the future. With our combined strength, the force of the Universe will be present in us, giving us this powerful force to do the impossible - to make sure December 21st, 2012 will not happen. For a better future. For many more years ahead. For the future generations.

The colour of hope - is green.

=D

2010-02-25T06:35:00.006+08:00

I still could not understand before. Doesn't playing computer games make you happy? Doesn't going to karaokes or clubbing makes us forget about our worries and make us happy? Why when all these are over, we'll lose this happy feeling?

I would like to thank a special friend, for motivated me to embark on a journey to seek true happiness and answers to all those never-ending confusions.

Finally!

All of my questions are finally answered.

All my negativities, all my doubts, all my confusions, even questions about the world - all gone!

I can't believe how idiotic I was, trying to make clear of what's happening about the world and around me, when I was supposed to identify my priorities, understand what is important and what I should do.

I don't know how to write the answers down... they're too great and impossible to be written in words.

But once I applied these answers to my daily life.... I will keep doing so, each and every day of my life. Once I succeed, which I believe it's a matter of time, I will share this with my parents, friends and everyone else out there who needs it.

I will. I really...... will.

其实大家 - 都是一家人......

The glass is half full.

2010-02-14T00:37:00.003+08:00

Hello dear readers and friends!!! At last, a publicized blog update! Happy Chinese New Year 2010!! Year of the Tiger is here now, so best luck for business, studies and everything else!! To some other friends of mine, Happy Valentine's Day!! And Happy Birthday to my dear friend, Charles Kwong. =)

Time flies without warning, without stopping. Within a few days, I'll be flying back to Perth. I will be reaching the village at 20th February. I read a lot, learnt a lot, thought a lot, realized a lot. I cannot look at the world like I'd did before. The world has never been a depressing place to live in. It is me - who feels depressed over the world - which is completely unnecessary. As long as I think things the optimistic side and do my best, things will always work out. Many may not believe in this, but I really do.

I have been living a life full of complicating thoughts ever since I joined Prefect Board. I find myself a 'philosopher', also an idiot. Sometimes things are not as complicated as it seems. Thanks to my mum, my best advisor, I have finally 'converted' myself from 'complicated' to 'simple'. Be in mind, there is a big difference between (1) "Being 'simple' all the time" and (2) "Changing oneself to becoming simple from complicated". I'm glad I had conquered my thoughts and become a better person. =D

My house, my room, my keyboard, my mum's office, Centrepoint, City Mall cyber, CyberX, E-City, Tanjung Aru beach, Bukit Padang, my school, my 2nd family, my dear friends, my sister, my mum and my dad.... They will all once again leave my life for the next one year.

Once again, this strong bond I had with me beloved hometown is detached, sending me off to Perth. This long lost feeling of warmth, familiarity and bliss, will once again be absent - until the next time I return, which till now I still do not know when.

The peace at mind and joyful times from my dearest friends, the bullying of my sister, the stern advices and strict voice of my dad, the funny nagging and warm hugs from my mum, the warm feeling of being home and secured - will all be absent - till the day I return.

But this is my life. It is a giant milestone and challenge for me to learn how to be independent. I have to go, and I will go back to Perth. I'll miss all of Sabah, I won't cry or shed a tear while I leave my family, boarding the airplane....

*whisper* Then I'll cry like hell on the plane. *whisper*

Haha! Right now, I don't want to think so much! Gonna enjoy the last days of being in Sabah! Live it as meaningful as possible! Then when I get back to Perth, GET READY PERTH!

Happy Chinese New Year once again, everybody!! ^^

I, thank you for your time. Now run along and celebrate CNY now. =D

February arises...

2010-02-01T04:38:00.002+08:00

It has been so long, but I'm back here now.

I'm really thankful that I've went back to my hometown. I understood, learnt and realized a lot about a lot of things - my friends, my future, the world... and even myself.

There was once whereby I did a few stuffs that I'm not so proud of. But as far as life is concerned, there's no turning back. So, I gotta face the facts and live a happy person from now on. Being happy on the outside is insufficient. One must be happy on the inside or else the happiness shown outside will not seem true.

Don't worry! I'm still the same JY you guys know all along. It's just a mentality change and the fact that I looked through the negativities of life itself and am currently finding a way to change it.

Will be going back to Perth at 18th February. I miss Perth, but I'm gonna miss Malaysia.

2009-12-19T08:47:00.002+08:00

Don't worry everybody. I'm still here.

I may not be as active online as I'll be anymore. Currently I'm forcing myself to go out with every possible opportunity I can get. Life in my room facing my laptop all day is just a waste of time.

Yup, I can't believe I'm saying this, but facing your laptop all day locked up in your room = pointless and meaningless = a complete waste of time.

Stay away from your laptop or desktop! Go out under the sunshine! There are plenty more things for you to discover and explore out there! =D

2009-11-26T15:31:00.007+08:00

~Time flew so fast, I can't even believe that it flew before.~

My last exam is tomorrow! After that I'm free from my exams! =D All the hard work will be paid off once I finish tomorrow's 2pm exam. To be honest, it's quite hard to focus on anything lately, I'm not sure why. The weather in Perth now is strange and unusual - sometimes it becomes so cold like winter at night, sometimes it becomes so hot like summer. Climate changes are really unpredictable.

Tomorrow is Mia and Joan's farewell party! I'll bring some of my 'home-made' Tim-Tam over. xD Although I haven't really been with them for quite some time ever since our One Movement Trip, yet I'm still gonna miss them. Haha. All the best to them.

Also, my Kenya flatmate - Joy is celebrating her birthday tonight! I'll be joining in as one of her flatmate. Ben has moved out 2 days ago and Tom just moved out today, I guess after this party, I'll be the only one left in this flat. Wonder how a lonely person in the entire flat feels like. Well, I'm about to find out! I'm gonna take some picture with them for sure, since all 3 of them will be joining in the party. I really need to hold on to my Sony Ericsson camera from now on, it'll be convenient for me to take pictures whenever I want to. =)

I guess that's all for the updates! Wish me luck tomorrow! Good luck to my KDU friends having their exams too! You'll know exactly when I have returned to KL by receiving an SMS from a phone number that hasn't been used for almost 6 months. Hopefully it's still usable. Till then everybody!

I'm still here!

2009-11-17T16:03:00.002+08:00

Whoops! Sorry people. It's been so long since I updated my blog. There has been a lot going on around me these few weeks. What, you don't know yet? Huh, that means you're not a regular Facebook stalker. =p If you knew what happened or just knew, don't worry, everything is fine now. Thank you for your concern. I have recovered and now studying is my top priority now. =)

Anyway, I'm having exams next Monday and Friday. After that, on 29th November, I'll be flying back to KL to meet all my KDU friends until 9th December! Yay!! ^^

First of all, thanks Kit Guan for allowing me to stay at his place in Wangsa Maju for the first few days! I do not want to return to KDU so soon - my dear friends are having their exams at that time period and I'll regret if they're all distracted due to my presence. Haha! Don't believe? I influence others really well, you know? XD Anyway, I'll be staying there till 2nd December before moving again to PJ area, to meet my KDU friends!

Next, I would like to thank Ian for helping me write the request letter and Mako for allowing me to stay at his place! Yup, thanks to Mr Goh's (KDU Hostel warden, for some of you out there) permission, I'll be staying in KDU Hostel for the time period till the day of my flight. One night for RM15, oh well, that's reasonable enough. Since by working I can get around AUD20 per day, converting that, I'll get around RM60! With that money I can stay for 4 days! The exchange rate has increased greatly (1AUD = RM3.1!!), apparently the economy in Malaysia is getting unstable? No matter what, I'll be staying there till my flight departure and Ian is flying there with me! Boy, I'm really anxious to see all of you, you know that?!

Oh, for those whose names that I haven't mentioned, don't be mad at me. I'm still gonna meet anyone else who's also in KL too! Just leave a message here! But you better do so before I move to the hostel, because I doubt I'll be going back to KL after that.

Till then, I'll fight for my freedom in the exams! Engarde!! I really miss ALL of you in KDU! I'm coming back shortly! Wait for me~~! =D

The story of a little bird.

2009-10-30T11:12:00.001+08:00

Ever since having a whole new life, this little bird has not been able to fly at all. It doesnt even know how to flip its wings. So many factors affecting it from being able to fly This little bird has been on the ground for a long time. Recently, it has broken its wings. It hopes that someday some other bird will fly over and teach it how to fly again. But this little bird knows that in the end, it itself has to learn how to fly despite its condition, it has to recover its wings as soon as possible, after that taking flight to the blue sky above, with the other birds, with the clouds

While recovering, it looks up to the sky, praying for any other birds with sore wings, hoping theyll be able to fly high once again

The bird looked at one of its wings. Either it is hallucinating, or some scars on its wing have begun to heal

I like this picture...

2009-10-26T10:44:00.007+08:00

This picture, really describes my feelings right now. I really like scenery photos, you know? If you would have noticed, most of my pictures in my previous blog posts had all been scenery photos, even the title picture above. Haha! Well, what can be said~ I love scenery photos, they resonate with me in a way which words cannot describe... =) Oh, anyway, moving on to this photo, sorry for the alignment problem, I got that from a photo URL so I can't do any adjustments. So, thanks to below!

If you are highlighting this blog post, it's either you thinking that my blog post is too empty, or you know me very well.

I have made my thoughts my prison. It's no longer about love issues, it's no longer about my studies...

It's about life.

I like this picture very much... tribute from ragsphotography (c) at this website link: 51searcher.com/music-search-singapore-singapore

People keep telling me, "Plan for the future!! If you fail to plan, your plan will fail!"

Some tell me, "Appreciate today, work hard for tomorrow!"

Some also tell me, "We live for the present, not for the past or for the future!"

Which is true? Which is false?

**************************

Enjoy the picture!! ^^

**************************

I am really unstable in my thoughts. Is it because I'm weak? Or because I don't understand myself, just like the rest?

Yet, deep down my heart...

If you can't see tomorrow which is within distance, how can you see the future which is beyond distance?

A $20 that belongs to me. =)

2009-10-16T18:28:00.009+08:00

I earned AUD20 yesterday night!! My very first salary! ^^

Oh right, I'm really bad in updating you guys. I just took up a part time job in New Zealand Natural ice-cream kiosk in Carousel Shopping Centre, Perth. My very first part time job!!

Well, not really a part time job yet. I have to undergo some training to prepare for that. I'd started my training since last Tuesday until this Thursday night. In short, I had been training for 3 days only. However, I really learnt A LOT within these 3 days. If you give me the right ingredients, I can make fruit juice, milkshake, smoothie, bubble tea, even the cappuccino you drink in Starbucks. =D Hey! Stop giving me that disgusted look! I can ensure you that the drinks I make taste great, okay? xD

Here is where I work!

I really had a thrill working here. Multi-tasking and serving customers, it's just like those games that you play on your laptop, Diner Dash? Burger Rush? Cake Mania? Yeah, those games. I had to admit that for a clumsy person like me, my techniques aren't good enough. Not doing enough household it seems. Scooping a scoop of ice-cream could take me up to 5 minutes. My worse mistake: the customer wanted a chocolate thickshake. After blending the mix and pouring it out, watery liquid came out of it. From thickshake till milkshake. >__<

Sorry if I had offended any customers for the previous days. >__<

I guess I'll be working there from now on. Hopefully I can get some decent cash to spend back in Malaysia. So, before I go, let me show you... how to make... CHILLO! Chillo is something similar to the cappuccino in Starbucks. I made my very first, yesterday night!

First of all, prepare 220ml of fresh milk. Add a scoop of ice into it.

Secondly, take a big scoop of New Zealand Natural's Cookies 'N Cream ice-cream and dunk it in.

Then, add two spoonfuls of vanilla powder.

Blend it!

For this machine, set the blending speed as 4.

After blending is done, take it out and pour it into a cup. Add some whipped cream on it and pour some cookie powder on the cream.

Serve!!

I was drinking my own Chillo and it tastes really, really good. It makes me feel like a small kid. Haha. But I have to pay for it though, 10% discount for staffs. Sorry if some of the pictures are blur. Iwas secretly taking pictures of it without my boss knowing it, so no time to focus with my Sony Ericsson 2.0x mega pixels camera. xD

Tomorrow, I'll be going to a musical festival (or concert), called One Movement Music Festival! The ticket price is AUD99, but all Murdoch students and staffs can get them for free! From 12pm - 10pm, there will be combos of performances by bands and music groups, but I don't know any of them. They're mostly Australian bands. Oh boy, it's gonna be one hell of a crowd.

Ok, that is all for today's update! For my friends in Perth, be sure to visit me every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday shopping night! I'll make a drink just for you! But sorry, you must pay, because the boss won't let me make it for free.

Till the next blog, see ya!!

I've been there.

2009-10-10T16:18:00.003+08:00

Among all of my frequent readers, I'm guessing that only 3 of you knew where I had been yesterday night. One of you who had been with me ever since I was born; one of you whom I missed a lot and one of you who was there with me yesterday and will find this post quite unpleasant.

My dear friends, this blog may surprise you, because it is almost impossible for a guy like me to do so.

Everyone, I went clubbing yesterday night.

Now now, don't start getting excited and encouraging over my first time. Neither should you feel upset or antipathy over my choice of going clubbing. Yesterday, 3 of my friends were celebrating their birthdays on the same day. After an Italian dinner and some change of outfit, we went to Northbridge of Perth City, finding a nightclub to go party. Northbridge is one of the most 'happening' place in town due to most of the night clubs, bars and pubs located within it. During the night, teenagers around will all gather here to party and enjoy themselves and get drunk. Sometimes, fighting occurs. One of the most dangerous times to be in Northbridge is Friday night.

Don't worry, we came back home safe and sound, thankfully.

There was some hassle in between; I will not share the story here, it's a long one; due to that we were led to this place - The Court.

The Court is a hotel pub which organizes clubbing nights every Friday. To be granted entrance to night clubs, you must either provide your passport, or a Proof of Age card to verify that you are not under age (18). This place really was happening!!! Everyone was dancing like crazy over here! There was 17 of us that night, many of them showing off their moves on the dance floor. Oh, this pub is also open to homosexuals. That's right. I saw 2 guys kissing passionately at a corner. Unbelievable, yet not surprising to me. It's not because I'm gay that's why I find it okay, it's because too many unpredictable things are happening around me, I have been immune to these incidents. After going to The Court, we went to Paramount and clubbed until 3 in the morning before we went back home.

Many of my female friends were dancing and enjoying themselves, as if they've never did it before.Everyone was having such a good time, dancing widly, screaming out loud, not giving a damn about anyone else. I was there dancing and shouting with them as well. Don't worry, I never hooked up with any other girls during clubbing, let alone drinking or smoking. The reason why I joined my friends to clubbing night yesterday was only because I wanted to experience how fun clubbing is and to understand why people love night time activities such as these. After that night, I finally understood why.

I feel both happy and sad - for those people who chose to club, drink, smoke, have sex for the sake of that temporary happiness, that temporary escape from reality - at the same time.

It's not up to me to decide not to go clubbing anymore, because one day when I start working and if clubbing is involved, I don't have a choice. However, I have made up my mind. As long as free will can be taken into consideration, I will choose not to join them. Don't get me wrong, last time, I was rejecting clubbing sessions with a closed mind. Now, my mind is wide open, yet my stand remains. Besides, I'm not a clubbing type of person right from the start, remember?

Temptations... to refuse for the sake of sanity, or to receive for the sake of desire?

2009-10-02T07:58:00.002+08:00

I just saw some of my friends' (Murdoch) blogs respectively. Looking back at their past posts, I realized that they too are having coping problems. The same problems that I had faced months ago. About leaving all your loved ones behind and proceeding to another country. The distance just gets further and further.

I finally found out that I still have some social issues. I tend to kill a happy mood by saying things that I'm actually not supposed to. XD

Right now, I'm under confusion. A part of my mind tells me, "Don't give a damn about how others think about you! Live your life the way you want it to be!"

But another part of my mind tells me, "Socialize! Be accepted by others and don't make them think you're an anti-social!"

I buy the anti-social point, but not the 'accepted by others' point. If I want to be accepted by others, that means I have to change myself and restrain myself from doing stupid things. That's not me anymore, right? XD Still dealing with the confusion~

So, before I end my post here, I just want to let all of you know... Whether you're in KDU, Murdoch or anywhere else in this part of the world. If you're still having problems with adapting, coping or getting used to a new environment...

I am one of them. You are not alone. =)

GG

2009-09-26T09:47:00.017+08:00

Before you start asking, 'GG' is a short term for 'Good Game', commonly used in DotA matches when the game ends and you want to compliment the whole progress of the game. After all, despite all the flaming and swearing during the game, we'll all shake hands and admit defeat in the end. =)

There are hundreds of games that I've played before, varying from different consoles, some that I couldn't even recall. The classic Super Mario and Sonic the Hedgehog series, Metal Slug all series, Golden Sun, After Dark Games, Resident Evil... etc. However I'm just a regular gamer, not a hardcore gamer. Until today, I prefer First-Person Shooting Games rather than RPGs. RPG just take too much time for me and I prefer games that end fast so you can play the next round instantly. Here, I'll show you my most frequently played games of all times.

My friends, welcome to my world of gaming.

Double-Kill First Blood!

This game is one of my all time favourites, Defence of the Ancients, DotA. DotA is a strategy Player VS Player hero defence custom map game from the real game, Warcraft III and has become immensely popular within the youth. DotA led itself to various competitions, forums, blogs and had been well received by gamers worldwide. I'm not as pro as the other players out there, but I enjoy playing it a lot with the AI Maps. These maps contain (programmed) computer players to fight you if you're playing alone. But I like this while playing with your friends best. ^^ DOTA ROCKS!!!

Next up is an old-time favourite by most senior gamers out there, Counter Strike. I'm very sure you've heard of it. Do you still recall phrases like "Terrorists Win!", or the most popular "Fire in the Hole!"? It's all from this First-Person Shooting Game. (FPS), one of the first FPS LAN games to ever exist. I don't play this quite often, I'm more hooked up on DotA instead. There is also this game series called 'Call of Duty'. It's far by my most favoured FPS game ever. Especially the 4th game - Modern Warfare. Too bad I can't make any screenshots out of it because I don't have it with me. But trust me, it will blow your mind away. =D

When I was in secondary school, it was during the VBA trend. Visual Boy Advance is an GameBoy Advance emulator in PC so you can play Game Boy Advance games in your computer. I am an addict to the Megaman Battle Network and Megaman Zero series. In fact, I'm actually a Megaman fan. You want a talk about it, feel free to seek me out. =D All Megaman series in GBA are 2D-action games, although the graphics is crappy but they are really good games indeed.

In KDU, there is only one game... Lord of The Rings: Battle for Middle Earth II.

LOTR: BFME2 is a strategy game based on the LoTR trilogy saga. There are 6 factions you can use, ranging from Legolas in Elves, Aragorn from Men, right to Sauron from Mordor. My favourite faction is ISENGARD! My KDU buddies and I were loyal fans to this game. We had Player VS Computer (PVC) and PVP matches. With a wide variety of factions, units, special powers and strategies, this is one game I will always remember... because it built friendship and companionship between me and them...

Do I play any musical/rhythm video games, such as O2Jam? Well, not O2Jam, but Stepmania.

Stepmania is an open source and cross-platform rhythm video game and engine. It is a PC version from the famous DDR (Dance Dance Revolution). I could play difficult levels after playing it for 3 months, so I picked up the skills very fast for this game. This is the ONLY game that'll make my friends say "Holy Shit! What the F*ck is that? That is impossible! How did you do it?!?!" while I'm playing in front of them and Stepmania actually boosts my confidence in gaming. Haha, curious of my abilities in Stepmania? If you have the chance, watch me play it and be amazed. ^^ Oh, if you have the skill and feel doubtful, you can challenge me too if you want. =D Stepmania is a free software!! Download Stepmania right here!!

In Perth, I stumbled upon this game called Adventure Quest Worlds.

AQW is a MMORPG (Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game) flash game and it is slowing getting attention to more people around the world. Because it's a flash game, it does not require much computer memory, so although there are thousands of people playing at the same time, your computer performance won't be affected. =) I'm also hooked up on this game because it updates real frequently. If you are interested, you can check out the Adventure Quest Worlds website here. It's quite addictive really. XD

Never heard of the games above before? No worries, I still play some games that you all play, from a popular social networking site.... Facebook! Pet Society, Typing Maniac, Word Challenge, you name it all.

Years ago, I got addicted in playing computer games. I rarely had the chance to play other game consoles, such as PSP or NDS or X-Box and I don't have any of them, so computer is my only companion in gaming. The reason people chose to play games is, well, for the fun of it of course. There no more other reasons why we play games, it's just for entertainment purposes, nothing else, right?

Actually, there are.

Come to think of it, after being here in Perth, I started to wonder why do I always lock myself up in my room just to play games. When I was a boy, I played games for the rush of excitement, the sweet taste of victory when you defeat the last boss... YEAH! That tastes good!!! Throughout the years, I only play when I have nothing else to do (or when I'm slacking). Usually I play to follow the storyline. But right now, I just feel that - the reason is no longer any of the above anymore.

I'm escaping from reality.

It was really hard for me to admit the fact that I'm growing up - fast. Everything just happened so abruptly till I rarely had the chance to catch my breath. Within 3 months, I had been transferred to Perth, all my thoughts about spending my time in KL flushed right into the drain.

I have a girlfriend that really changed my life, she made me realize what true love is and because of her, all my worries and insecurity were gone. But not more than 2 months being with her I had to go to Perth and start a long distance relationship immediately. Now, to be able to meet each other, the time interval is not within hours or days, but months...

I had real understanding buddies, they are the ones that truly touched me and made me realize who I really am. They are the ones who supported me right to the end and gave me the opportunity to be Roxanne's boyfriend. They are the ones who taught me what real friendship is and how to maintain it. I owe to them a lot, but I had to go to Perth, leaving all my friends there. Even though there are online advantages, but there are feelings that no comments can express, emotions that no texts can show...

Of course, my family's financial issues. The currency here in Perth is almost 3 times the currency in Malaysia. They have a really heavy burden on their shoulders just to send me to Perth. I can't ignore the fact and keep spending money like using water anymore. I have to start finding part-time jobs to get expenses for my own.

All these new facts and responsibilities rushing right into my brain in one go, it really is a heavy burden for me to bear. Everything just - happened so quick for me. I wasn't fully prepared to face any of these. I'm growing up too soon.

That's why I keep playing games - to slow down the growing process, to recall those happy naive memories... to get my mind off the burden...

To escape.

Believe me, it is not easy. I called up the best adviser in the world to me, my dear mum. She chuckled on the phone when I told her my problem. She just told me this:

" Jonathan, you are thrown onto a fast lane, because you can drive fast. Growing up fast is a good thing! Time passes whether you want it to or not, you might as well accept the facts earlier and PREPARE sooner! You know in your heart that you can do it. =)"

I was once again amazed and gratified to her - my best advisor in the world.

So guys, listen up. You can't hide from your problems forever. The road is straight, it's far better to look ahead than looking behind you. What problems are you having right now? Ugly appearance? Bad friends? Loneliness? Family issues? Whatever the problem is, it doesn't matter. God placed you in that situation because He believes that you can deal with it. You're in that position because you have the power inside of you that can cope with the situation and stand out strong! Come on, you believe in yourself right? Now, get up, stop thinking negative and rise up to the challenges - because YOU can do it!! I will start thinking optimistically from now on! Wish me luck!

Before I end this post, do me a favour. For those reading this blog, I would really appreciate it if you could at least post a comment, to share your feelings about this, or maybe just to say 'hi' and encourage me. The comments will really mean a lot to me. ^^ If you would like to post a comment but don't have a Google account, just click on Comments ---> Name/URL. Typing your name will do, you need not type anything in the URL. Thank you very much~

Finally, my last piece of advice! I'm not gonna tell you to stop playing games or doing whatever you like to do. Just remember: 'Whatever you do or play, be sure it's not an act of hiding yourself from reality.'

GAME ON!

I learnt a lesson

2009-09-21T07:44:00.004+08:00

I finally got the answer to the blog post below. ^^

It was 2 weeks ago, when I went to my mum's friend's place and met this Singaporean teacher. His name is Chris, married and has many years of teaching experience. We had a conversation and I started telling him about my difficulties in triggering my study mode back to ACTIVE instead of DEACTIVATED. That was also when I learnt that he was a lecturer himself. XD

He told me, "You cannot just rely on your interests and motivation in order for you to study! As a student, studying is YOUR JOB!"

I was struck. So it's my job... Maybe I knew this all along, but i just needed the right person to tell me. Haha, that always happen to me. =p

He suggested me to GO TO CLASS NO MATTER WHAT. He taught me something that I think I should share it with all of ya:

"You cannot choose to skip class just because you think you don't believe what will be taught to you. Going to class helps you understand the keywords and the main points to the current chapter you're learning at that day. Come on, nobody expects you to understand everything or the whole chapter in just 1-2 hours!!!"

"SELF-READING is the most crucial part of studying. It's all about exploring and understanding it by yourself. The teachers/lecturers/tutors/instructors are just there to guide you. In the end, it's all up to yourself."

Don't worry, mum, dad, sis, Roxy and my dear friends. I have finally understood the importance of studying. (I can't believe I only knew it until this very day. >__<) My study mode is triggered back to life! From now on, if I want to study, I believe I can MAKE me study for real. Yay! ^^

However, my study mode now is like all of you - STANDBY because I'm lazy at the moment. =p

Next blog coming up - the reason why I play computer games!!! Be sure to check back in, that is going to be a good post. =)

Oh by the way, is the song in my blog nice? Give me some opinions plz~~~

Negligence

2009-09-11T20:44:00.004+08:00

I'm no longer in any study mood now. I'm slowly neglecting my studies.

Every week, I have 11 hours of class.

I skipped 8 hours this week.

I just lost my motivation to study or revise. I did not have this problem in KDU. Ever since I came to Perth, interacting with Australian teaching methods for the first time, hardly able to figure out what the lecturer is teaching, unable to ask any questions due to other students' intelligence-discrimination, my confusions on my studies accumulated.

Since I don't know a word about what I'm hearing, there's no point to attend the lecture. I should revise daily but the 'OHM' just isn't there.

As a result, I lost interest in my studies.

I understand that I cannot neglect the hopes and wishes of my dear family and friends. I promised that I would work hard.

But I just need the motivation. The 'OHM' to excite me and trigger my study mode back to life. Without that, I will have no interest in revising, neither would I have any passion.

Where is the inspiration? Where is the motivation?

Maybe I should stop playing games. That's a good start actually. =D

It's a scenery for me, it's my view to it.

2009-09-06T18:54:00.005+08:00

For those concerned, I am living a happy and enjoyable life in Perth. These are the friends and places I've been with them.

I admit that I still have some problems with my social skills. However, I'm learning. Finally, I was able to do something that I always wanted to do ever since I was a kid.

And them.

The picture below is a guy in front of a lantern tree. It was a Moon Cake Festival celebration. One month in advance.

Finally, after taking so many pictures, the reality struck me.

I'M IN PERTH!!!!

Although life has been better as time goes by, my heart has been uneasier with every passing day. For some reasons, I'm becoming stupidier, more lack of knowledge... the feeling of being a spoilt brat increases with every lack of understanding in me. Why was I so engrossed in my own world without knowing the outside world? How much more things that I don't know about out there? Was I meant to feel like this by coming to Perth? Was it meant for me to start being a man at Perth?

Coming to Perth...... it seems......

Fated.

It's time to start back from zero and work hard to the top!!! Find my true self!!!

I have the inspiration... now I need motivation!!! Give me motivation, world!!!!

Arnott's Tim Tam (Advertisement)

2009-08-26T21:28:00.006+08:00

Recently, I got myself addicted to Arnott's Tim Tam, sometimes also known as Arnott's Win Me. Well, it's the same brand and biscuits.

I bought 2 packets of Arnott's Tim Tam in a superstore, Coles at Kardinya Park. Each packet costs $2.29. Its original price is around $2.92 but at the moment there was a good offer. In each packet there are 11 biscuits, all coated with a thick layer of chocolate, followed by the biscuit itself and a thick layer of chocolate cream.

There are a few options that you can try while eating them. Either you put them in the fridge and eat them while they're cold and solid, or eat them while they're melting. My flatmate taught me a new way. First, bite off a very small chunk from one corner of the biscuit, then bite off another small chunk from the opposite corner. Then, dip one of the bitten corner into milk while sucking the milk up from the othe bitten corner. A biscuit straw!!

THEY ARE REALLY DELICIOUS! I unwrapped both of them and placed all the chocolate biscuits in my container. I placed the container besides my laptop so I can chew on them anytime I want. =)

Dear friends in Malaysia, is this available in Malaysia? Kindly check it out for me and let me know please. Thanks!

EDIT: I was told that this biscuit had long been in Malaysia! My god! I can't believe i'm so ignorant to things around me!! >__<

So what are you waiting for! Buy Arnott's Tim Tam / Win Me now and feel the chocolate indulgence!!

2009-08-26T21:15:00.003+08:00

Oh, I forgotten to share something here. Last Sunday, out of boredom and hunger, I ordered for Domino's Pizza from my room. Yes you're right, it's a pizza delivery. =)

Cheese sticks. I bought 2 sets.

My Simple Cheese Pizza!!!! It was really good. =)

It costed me $21.85. It's a waste of money actually, because they have offers on every Tuesday whereby you can order a pizza for $5 or $9. This one costed around $17. But they said all food and drinks that we order must exceed $20 before a delivery can be done. Well, it does encourage me to share pizzas with my friends instead of eating it alone. Well, once in a while doesn't do much harm, right? ^^

Breaking the nutshell

2009-08-25T22:44:00.003+08:00

Well, I had been in Perth for about a month now. Things are settling down slowly for me and I settled down pretty quick this time, since I had the same experience while in KDU. I met new friends, new lecturers, of course, a new degree environment.

Coming to Perth really opened my eyes to the world, like a nutcracker cracking a nutshell. I really learnt a lot of things and understood countless difference between Malaysia and Australia. For some reasons, I felt disappointment about Malaysia's progress lately, on how race discrimination still continues; on how poor Malay people are being discriminated by others in the same country; on how naive and stubborn some people are in the government, dying to protect the Malay's rights, only to lose sight of what Malaysia had truly become; on how suspicious people look at every stranger that passes by, fearing that they may be a victim from the stranger...

Of course, I have nothing more to say, as I have lots and lots of information that I do not know yet. Other people take them as 'common sense' and I don't have them. Looks like it's a long way to go for me to learn about the world......

Maybe reading newspaper, watching news online or TV will help. But I'm still in lazy mode due to lack of motivation, so yeah, the irony. XD

Nothing much to say actually. Oh right, I have prepared a letter regarding all my updates while in Perth. Sorry for not sharing it here because there's too many things to talk about. I sent this letter to friends and family out there. So if you would like a copy of the letter, feel free to ask me. Or you can find me in facebook or MSN and chat for hours, I don't mind. =)

That's all for now! Oh, by the way, today afternoon, my Aussie lecturer gave me and my friend, Alex a shock. He spoke Cantonese to us. O.o

New Layout! New Update!!

2009-08-23T21:17:00.005+08:00

Hello guys!! Wow! It's been so long since I even touched my blog!! Once again, I just saw a few of my friend's blog and then I decided to update my blog. I gave it a new layout, template and a background. How is it? Very refreshing, right? ^ ^

I'm using Roxanne's previous template. Sorry for using your template too Mako. =p

So I'll be doing my best to update often, but lately I really need pictures and photos with me while I write my blog, so yes, I'm in serious need of a camera. I have a sudden envious feeling towards my sister and her camera, I hoped to have one for myself too. But at that moment, she got her camera and I insisted for an electronic keyboard. I never regretted having that awesome keyboard, but right now in Perth, around all these beautiful green scenaries, I HAVE to take pictures of them. I have a Sony Ericsson handphone with 2.0x megapixels. Obviously I need a better one. For the time being, I guess I'll have to rely on my friends' cameras. >__<

Let's see... Oh! I finally found a cactus!! Right, I never mentioned. Experts say that if you have a cactus in your room besides your laptop, it will absorb the radioactivity, reducing its impact on the user. I never heard of such theories, but it's worth a shot. I went to my mum's friend's place and she gave me one small cute cactus to take care of. I was damn excited when I got my cactus. XD

Guys, girls, meet my cactus, Roro.

Judging by the name i gave it, I believe you are able to figure out why. =)

I'll be putting it at my window porch now. Anyone who knows how to take good care of a cactus, please leave a comment to teach me how, since this is the first time in my life taking care of a living thing all by myself.

I guess that's all for now. Hmm... I need to start improving my English vocabulary... Cheers people!

Perth

2009-08-01T16:17:00.006+08:00

Hi guys! Sorry for not updating, my life has been quite enjoyable lately. Other than that, the main reason is because it's really really cold right now, somewhere around 10 degrees, so cold that you'll only want to sleep it away. Right, hibernating. But it's getting warmer from time to time. Anyway, I'm in Perth now!! My parents and I flew to Singapore on July 22nd and to Perth by Jetstar Airlines on July 23rd. After settling down, dealing with my stuffs and hanging out together, my parents flew back on July 30th. Nah, I won't cry, we're gonna meet again in 4 months. XD Besides of the cold weather, the sky here is deep blue with no clouds with a distorted shaped moon. The view of the moon in Malaysia is so much better compared to here, but the sky in KL is so much better here. That's what it gets for pollutions and corruptions. Nyehe.

So, here are some pictures. Enjoy!

In front of Fremantle Prison

Swan Lake Bell Tower & Wheel of Perth

In front of a caravan in Murdoch. ^^

Pictures here include places such as Perth Zoo and Fremantle Prison. More pictures in my Facebook.

I do miss my family. But I made a promise to myself and everyone I love. So, I'll take good care of myself and do the best out of what I had. It’s also high time to polish my English too.

I'm not sure what else to tell you guys, but thanks for waiting for my blog update, any questions regarding anything about my life in Perth, feel free to leave a comment. ^^ Oh by the way, the swine flu here isn't as terrible as you think it'll be. No one's wearing masks, boarding up their homes or freaking out about it at all. Hah, and I thought they took it damn seriously. =/

2009-07-12T21:11:00.002+08:00

Well, I am back in my bloggy, typing another blog.

I'm sorry guys. I planned to make a tribute blog for 8 of my best KDU buddies, but unfortunately due to the continuous problems occuring on Streamyx, adding on that I'm actually online at Sabah, my connection is so slow, I can't upload any photos in my blog. Well, I'll need photos of course. So that's why I have to find a right time, where the Internet line is amazingly fast, then I can upload the necessary photos and post up my blog. Too bad, the connection is unstable all the time, I kept disconnecting from the Internet, so my blog-publish-date was postponed until today, and still the line is unstable. So, let us wait till the line gets stable and okay one day. ^^

By July 23, I'll be heading towards Perth. It's a whole new learning experience for me. I'm not sure whether I can cope with all these, but I'm damn sure I will eventually. So, I can't back out from my challenges, so I'll face them with full courage!!! Besides, I promised a lot of people that I'll do my best there. So yup, wish me all the best.

Okay, this is just a brief update for my blog before it gets filled with dust and cobwebs. My next blog will be here once I get a stable line, so please wait!!

To some of my friends, good luck with your new degree life at KDU!!!

19.06.09

2009-06-22T09:49:00.011+08:00

If that day is not a 'memorable and unforgetable day', I don't know what is.

june 19th, 2009 was the day I was relieved from being a KDU student. Yep, I returned my KDU card to them for my refund. But I felt, no, i FEEL nothing. Why? Ahaha... please don't let me repeat my story.... XD

Asides of that, today is the day where some good friends and I go for a happy outing at Sunway Pyramid!! I was so looking forwards to our outing! At first we planned to have a swim in Sunway Lagoon, but it just didn't worked out, so we chose to hang around at the pyramid instead. Damn, we took so many pictures. Here's some of them. =)

The guys - Mako, Sharmaan, me, Peshvin, Ian

The girls - YiQian, ShuiZhen, Roxanne, Kimberly

My 'family'... Son, daughter, wife and me. =)

He got the most attention while wearing the sunglasses. Meet Ian the Great.

Roxy and I. Sweet picture. Haha.

Kimberly & Mako - a cute couple

It was a really really fun day! Although we didn't do much, but we were so happy being together. While we arrived, we were so busy taking pictures throughout the whole morning. XD

After our lunch at Secret Recipe, we decided to go to Red Box and sing the hell out of our lungs. Well, damn, we really did do that. ^^ Whatever song that you can think of that'll rock the place, you have it right in our song-list. A Little Too Not Over You? Check Yes Juliet? Where is the Love? Yup, all there. =)

We went totally crazy in the box. Sup dawg! Plenty of DJs in the house!

As the saying goes: "A picture paints a thousand words." So I won't start telling a story which will make this blog into an unnecessary length, so enjoy the pictures and more on my Facebook profile.

haha... check out that guy behind... singing so fully-emotionally... XD

Haha... Ian's really enjoying himself out there....

Beat-boxing Team!!

We rock!!! Ya-ha!!!!!

In the end, before we head home, I gave a short speech about the day and my wishes to them. Look at me. It's as if i'm gonna cry. Hahaha! But actually not. =)

Frankly speaking, I am happy that I enjoyed myself on that day and I am happier that they enjoyed themselves as much as I did. Thank you guys, for such a wonderful day! I'll miss you guys when I get to Perth! And I... I...

Haha, let's not get to that, shall we? I'll be making another post about you guys later on before I leave. So, be sure to check back often!! ^^

长大

2009-06-11T12:23:00.003+08:00

人...是一定要长大的.

我刚刚看完了我姐姐的博客, 现在心里有点不好受的. 智勇, 你已经20岁了, 不再是以前那个不会照顾自己, 不会独立的男人了. 读完书之后, 你将会开始学习赚钱, 创造一个家庭, 成为一个成功的男人, 丈夫, 爸爸...

你长大了.

我不要.

我现在终于知道为什么那么多人这么不想长大了. 随着年龄的增加, 需要烦恼的事情更多, 需要的私人空间也会随之减少. 现在, 当我一开始想到我的未来时, 我会很害怕, 也很有恐惧感. 未来是多么的难于预测, 难于形容. 我很喜欢现在的我. 过着无忧无虑的生活, 有一位非常棒的女朋友在身边, 有这么多好朋友... 我们大家都知道啦, 无论如何, 我必须飞去澳洲继续我的degree. 但是, 当我读完书了, 一年半过后的生活会变得怎样? 很精彩? 很悲观? 很糟糕? 这些种种的可能性, 让我很害怕, 我很怕到时候我不能接受. 不过, 我很清楚知道: 读完degree之后, 一切都会变. 当时的我, 只能够一直想要如何找到一份工作, 赚很多钱, 等等. 总之, 一定不会想以前这样无忧无虑,自由自在了...

现在, 有很多事情在困扰着我, 不过算了吧~ 这始终都是人生的考验, 一定要接受, 一定要通过. 不管我多么的任性, 不要接受这种事实都好, 人都还是要长大的. It's inevitable. 想那么多是没用的啦, 让自己难受而已. 哈哈, 这句话在这种时候讲, 很矛盾吧? XD

We cannot predict the future, but we can control what we have and what we are NOW. So, I intend to do the best out of all these. Appreciate the present and keep fighting for the future!! ^^

好了,　心情好了一下,　回去读书了.

For my dear Roxanne

2009-06-03T18:33:00.004+08:00

For giving me reasons to love my life more than ever...

For making me learn how to love someone...

For giving me such a wonderful birthday...

THANK YOU ROXANNE!!!

Love you always~

Amidst

2009-06-01T07:48:00.006+08:00

For once, I feel like trying double-spacing.... Hehe....makes my blog readable I suppose... XDFor the smart ones who highlight first.... read the black fonts first please... Hehe.... I'm so cheeky, ain't I? ^^

Hi guys!! Once again another happy day awaits me! Ok, maybe not 'that' happy. Hehe.

Despite the current joy, happiness and bliss I am in right now with a person that changed my life...

MY intensive classes are starting again, from June 1 - June 12 (I think), from 9am - 5pm.

Despite this sudden warm feeling I have for knowing that I have such nice friends...

Haha, don't get shocked, I got used to this already.

Despite the anticipation of the day where my KDU friends and I roam at Sunway Lagoon......

And we don't go on straight for 8 hours, the instructor (from Perth) and us will always go down to the cafeteria for lunch. ^^

Amidst all these memorable experiences, deep down our hearts, we all know that the days to my flight is counting...

My birthday? Hahaha, I still can't stop thinking about it right now.... I admit it's one of the best I've ever had...

To me, for once...

We (just the 2 of us) went To Lake Gardens in KL to feel the wonderful nature.

Maybe for the very first time in my life that I'll say something like this...

So what? I'm not going to those high-class or fancy places just for my birthday! I prefer the nature, since I love it from the start, like her. ^^

To those who truly made me understood how it feels to love and care for one another...

We went to many places mainly Deer Farm & Bird Park. It was a wonderful experience indeed!

To those who truly made me understood how important friends are asides from the flows of reality...

But erm... I can't make any posts about this right now, because Ms. Roxanne is having all the pictures with her, so either I can direct her blog link to you, or wait till the pictures reach me, and both of us will write a blog about it. =D

To those who gave me memories no brainwash could erase...

Ok then, after typing this blog, I'm back to my studies... one freaking Murdoch exam coming tomorrow... wish me luck!!!

Nothing changes the fact even though I say so, but I must....

Hmm... why I put the topic as 'Amidst'? I dunno... go google it and find out... =p

I just...... don't want to...

Turning Point

2009-05-19T05:45:00.003+08:00

See, compare the picture above, at the age of 18, what I called myself cool, lying down on the foot-worn grass on the field of my secondary school, Kian Kok Middle School, Sabah.

At this point of my life, I never realized how badly I was flawed. Well, not to mention how I suck at personal hygiene. Picking up a double personality, while doing so many things due to my own purposes and intentions, no one knew who I really am, neither did they know what I was thinking. I chose to stay mysterious and as a lone wolf at all times. For the past 6 years, I had become a lone wolf and I love to become one. As emotion-less as a chose to become, little did I knew that I had just sown the seeds of flaws into my mind.

Now check this one:

A picture of me, becoming age 20, holding a doughnut in Krispy Kreme, Times Square, Petaling Jaya. At this point of life, I finally realized how flawed I was. Whatever I did, I wanted a favour in return. Throughout the years, I wanted people to treat me as how I treated them. I wanted that so badly, I never knew how much damage I had inflicted to both relationships between my friends and my own personality. Passed on from one of my friend's advice, he told me to START being emotional instead of remaining rational for the rest of my life. In the end, I gave up to my own feelings and heart, eventually I finally found my way out of the destructing path I am heading towards.

I am happy that I can finally know my mistakes and change for the better of others and myself. Well, about the 2 pictures.... we can have 2 more comparisons. One, between dependent and (slightly) independent. The 2nd comparison.... hahahaha.....

A difference between single and not single, I suppose?

人生的路程

2009-05-10T08:56:00.005+08:00

人生的路程，既难走，又难预测...

每个人都必须为自己的生活和未来而奋斗的。失败了，别气馁，要加倍努力来成功；成功了，别骄傲，要更加努力得到更佳的胜利。只要我们还在世上，人生的路程仍然继续着。它不会为你转折，也不会为你停止。就这样，我们只能往前走，继续走这一条又艰难又漫长的路程。我MSN的外号：“Endless Journey” 就如此诞生。=)

其实，我觉得现在的我，真得很幸福。有我爱的人，有爱我的人，也有很多对我好的人。大家就好像一个大家庭一样，互相爱护，互相关心，互相保护... 这种难于形容的感觉，真得让人觉得很温馨，很幸运，很幸福。不过每个人的姓氏都不同。XD 回想当初，我会责怪自己：明明生在那么好的环境中，我还会要求多多，从来不懂得珍惜身边的人。随着时间的流逝，自从婆婆去世之后，我终于懂得身边的人对我多么重要。如果不趁现在好好珍惜他们的话，失去他们时一定会很后悔的。所以大家，要趁现在呀，免得后悔。

可是，我很害怕。我非常害怕我会失去身边的人。因为我认识的每一个人，无论是爸爸，妈妈，姐姐，朋友都好，在我的心目中，再也没有任何人能够取代他们的。比如说：我有一个非常爱我的父亲，我就会一心一意地爱着他。如果有一天，失去了他，不管是谁取代他都好，我都无法和之前的父亲一样 - 那么一心一意地去爱他。因为我的心永远只有我之前的爸爸而已。因此，我很怕去爱，去珍惜，因为失去了，我会很心痛的！我爱的人，对我来说是非常非常重要的人，我不想，更不希望他/她会消失。我不喜欢活在这个‘ 随时会得到，随时会失去 ’的现实生活，我受不了。I really hope that some things last long, to make me feel secured and safe, to make me feel comfort and bliss, to make me settle down in a relief, even though I know things won't last long......

真是的。为什么要去想这么悲观的东西呢？为什么要害怕呢？通常，人害怕的东西，往往都会变真。不行！不可以在这么悲观地想了！大家，如果你们的想法和我现在的想法一样的话，别像我一样去责怪自己；到回头来，要称赞自己。有这样的想法，证明别人在你的心目中都非常的重要，而且你因为非常爱他们而不想失去吧？但是，要常常记住：无论发生什么事，都要顺其自然，得到了，别得寸进尺；失去了，别感到悲痛。不要去怀疑，也不要去想‘万一’，因为这个词语象征疑心。要大量去爱，要快乐去爱，要用着一切正面的思想去珍惜对自己重要的人，继续奋斗地走着人生的路程！

更何况，人都是因为想要永久，才会一直努力去争取吧？

2009-05-04T19:17:00.003+08:00

We cannot predict our future and flaws, hence we could only take action to find out.

I finally found a way to share my thoughts to other people! Usually, when I typed my posts/blogs here, I categorized them into 3 types

(1) Just a random seemingly pointless blog. You'll see no titles above the random blog.

The others with titles are usually the serious ones where I like to share with others.

(2) This type of blog is regarding my personal feelings about life itself.

(3) The last type of blog is some facts and advises of real life that I want to share with everyone. This kind of blog should prove itself helpful to whoever who has problems regarding it. I'll try my best to ease your feelings.... =)

For the 3rd type, I think I'll consider posting a link about it in Facebook. For example, if I want to share with others about my opinion on some facts (e.g: discrimination, problems in real life, moral values). That way, I think and hopefully that through just some simple words, I can help make a difference in other people. =)

Next week, there's another intensive class!! Network Security! For continuously 2 weeks again.... haha, the stress is coming back again... but I'm not afraid anymore! I can learn more new things from the classes anyway. It's just time that is slowly being consumed...

Trying to stay optimistic and happy throughout the last weeks of my college life~ wish me luck and give me strength!!

Prologue from the Announcement

2009-04-29T08:33:00.005+08:00

Time.... sure waits for no man....

My KDU Friends during Roxanne's birthday

A lot of good events, activities and memories flow around my life ever since the day I entered my college life. Some happened expected, mostly unexpected. Think back then, I really can't believe how I had begun in college from zero to one. To make things sound better, I can't believe my friends had given the 'one' to me.

Kota Belud Camp Dec '08

At some point, you'll recgonize more and more people, widening and broadening your social network. Sometimes, you'll either know lecturers whom are decades older than you. Also kids and preteens years younger than you.

Hostel Break-in, Feb 'o9

But there are some times where you meet a lot of friends that you're dying to stick to them till the end of college life. Perhaps trying to graduate together with them and have one unforgetable memory in your life. Unfortunately, due to your given condition, you're unable to do so.

Cambodia Trip with family, Apr .09

When you know that time doesn't wait for your wishes anymore, all you can do is to appreciate all those friends and people around you. Do it while you still can, before you regret in the ends of life. Of course, there will be times where we stumble upon each other one day, but it's just a matter of time. Before that, be sure to cherish every moment you have and feel happy for the whole ride.

Life's like that. Nothing is permanent. Not even life is. How can you expect anything to last long? All we can do is to expect everything to last WELL, SAFE and FINE. All the time. =)

THE CHOSEN KDU TEAM.... XD

Time waits for no man... Life dwells for no soul... No matter what happens, life must go on. Whether slowly or swiftly. The only things that can ease you or make you feel warm, blissful and happy - are those memories you had been fighting so hard to keep between you and those you are in contact with...

And now... after typing so much, when I think about it:

Life changed a lot for me... and I have changed a lot for life. I feel happy for who I am as well as what I have right now. And I feel fortunate about it. I am already mentally and spiritually prepared for what will come for me. Hence, by tomorrow, I'll announce something... that turning point... that fateful choice... that inevitable decision... But I have accepted it and - let time flow through me. =')

I don't expect anyone to catch this post before tomorrow... but well, you'll have a big clue on what I'm going to announce tomorrow, right? =)

2009-04-20T22:07:00.003+08:00

Well, nothing much actually. Right now, since 13 April 2009, I am undergoing an intensive session, up to April 30, all with 8-hour classes for my subject ICT363 - Network Switching. At the day I post this, it's the 6th day of the intensive period. Right, and still counting. >__< So, I didn't have any time to go anywhere else in the Internet at all. Hence, I did not made any updates to my blog. Sorry about that.

- Anyway, yeah. I got my KDU scholarship. I got RM1,000 free from my RM8,000 fees. Apparently, the money is free for me to use anytime. But well, if I want to take it out, that's a different story. XD

- My Cambodia trip photos are up on Facebook! ^ ^ You can go check it and leave some comments too. I'll appreciate them all, good or bad.

- Yesterday, I visited Palm Spring Condominium, just 20 minutes away from my hostel by bus. Arnous, Mustafa and I were discussing about our ICT363 case study. Due to some doubts, we did nothing except for talking about other stuffs regarding ICT363 and the big 'plan'. That night, I ate dinner with them. Haha! We sat on the floor and 5 of us (2 more friends of them) ate fried rice with tomato pasta. Yes, vegetarians can eat it. The taste is good, perhaps that's the way Syrians cook their foods. That day was the first day in my life for eating dinner with international students. Will never forget that.

- Due to heavy traffic, I walked all the way from Palm Spring to my hostel. Took 42 minutes and 17 seconds. Hahaha, I know. I'm insane. =) But trying something new isn't a bad thing, as long as you stay constantly vigilant, right?

一个面试

2009-04-07T20:46:00.004+08:00

哈哈... 我再次使用中文来打字，我想看写中文和英文的差别在哪．

今天, 我有了一个scholarship的面试．如果在这个采访里顺利过关的话，就可以拿到奖学金啦~　不过挺不容易的．因为这次拿奖学金的人非常多，所以学院必须使用淘汰的方法．原本面试日期是上个星期四的．我没办法出席，因为上个星期我和家人一起去柬埔寨旅游．关于我的旅行，我要拿到照片才可以做blog．回到重点吧，我还以为interview的人只有我而已．当我 A&B 的时候，我竟然看到我以前的同学，她也是在今天interview．就这样，她先被面试．接着到我．一开始，他们问的问题都很容易回答．直到他们问一道问题为止．

＂为什么我们必须给你这个奖学金，而不是刚才那位女生呢？＂

难道，这个奖学金，不是我拿就是她拿吗？这么说，我们正在互相竞争！在这种情形而言，他们不是看你多么合理，而是看你多么有自信可以胜过对方．是的，如果我说：＂各有各的才能，不能互相比较，要给谁就给谁，不由我来决定．＂的确很合理，很有道理，但是，你认为他们肯把奖学金交给你吗？如果在两个人之中，另一个人说：＂因为我相信我有能力做到，若我要拿每个科目满分我一定能够得到．我也有把握，在才能方面我能够战胜刚才的那个人．所以我应该得到这个奖学金．＂这个自私自利的回答，看起来很过分．就是这种自私但充满自信的答案，才能说服他们把奖学金给你呀！你可以选择追求奖学金的欲望而＂背刺＂对方；你也可以选择合理性的回答来救你的朋友．

你要那个奖学金吗？还是要给别人？

我很讨厌这种针对性的问题．我真的很讨厌！为什么人必须选择这种针对性的方式来得到利益？世界真的很现实，实在太现实了．要帮别人，就要害自己；要帮自己，就要害别人．最后，我给的回答，让我非常看不起自己．你都可以看不起我．因为，我很自私．

如果世界是现实的，人值得自私吗？

2009-03-31T05:54:00.004+08:00

Everything's just happening to me too soon and coincidently. It's like - everything is 'waiting' for me to come, just to make them happen. When I arrived, the specific situations happens, as if I'm the key in unlocking the main door. It's quite funny for this to be so coincident: One year ago, I'm standing in front of a door. The door opened. As I stepped through the door, the door magnificiently closed itself, so no one else can enter. Then, another door in the room I just stepped in opens, for me to keep going on.... door after door....

I've been walking through doors for my whole life... I've never sat down in any room to rest or at least - catch a breath before. Once I stepped into a room, another door opens. If I don't enter it, I'll stay stuck in the room forever. But, what if the path of doors lead me to even greater rooms? Or maybe - a miserable dead end? How would the path ends? Into luxury or into dust?

Just yesterday, a giant door opened in front of me. I'm hesitating whether I should step in it or not. This door appears once in a lifetime and I'm afraid - there's no turning back if I pass through this door....

Very confused... just like a dusty man with a rainbow key for a golden lock. But which door is the golden lock positioned at? What lies behind the door of the golden lock? Fortune or misfortune?

I'm in a dilemma now....

Let go to go...

Earth Hour

2009-03-28T17:57:00.002+08:00

I remembered saying that I want to make a blog about Malaysia's race discrimination, right? Right now, there's something that I'm more concerned about.

By 8.30pm - 9.30pm, our country will undergo the Earth Hour, whereby we're told to switch of all lights and electronic devices for one hour to SAVE the environment. Many people believe and many doesn't. Are you going to turn off your lights?

I understand why people ignore this. Because they don't care for the environment at all. They don't read the news or read the banners on the streets too.

I understand why people don't buy this. I quite agree with you guys. If I switch off my lights but others don't, why should I switch off then? Does it mean that at Earth Hour, all the Internet services, all the factories, Streamyx, Hotmail, telephone services, events... will ALL have to shutdown for that one hour JUST to make the world a better place? Do you really think they'll do it?

The world has faced much more worse conditions that even humans can't imagine. The Earth has survived for so many billion years. Living things can't withstand it, but Earth did! The Earth had overcome worse disasters than we knew, such as massive earthquakes, tsunami, tornadoes, volcano eruptions, meteor collisions, solarflares.... and all we can think about is saving plastics and switching off lights for one hour, believing that it can actually save the environment and make a difference?

I don't buy Earth Hour at all. It's not going to work. BUT, do you want to make a difference?

Do you want to be part of this big family of thoughtful people, working together to save what can be saved?

Do you want to choose a rightful stand and do what that is right, or supposed to be done, without seeing or judging others?

Or would you rather make no differences and remain the same old miserable you?

If you will change your mind, you had made a difference. By sharing with people about how you think, you may be able to change them. You can make a difference in them! They'll share your thoughts to them, changing others and eventually.... the whole world can be changed. All this can be caused because of you! Just a few simple words from you! Just imagine! How big can your power to make a difference be! So think about it, my friends!

For me, if you changed your perceptive after reading this, I had made a difference to you.
If you will switch off the lights, I had made more differences.
For I WILL switch off my lights and any other electronic devices. To make a difference in me and you.

Watch me. =)

2009-03-15T09:48:00.002+08:00

Back at my dear blog again. Both me and you.

I purposely left my blog outdated. Well, to be honest I purposely leave it outdated whenever there is a very meaningful blog before it. I need to give it time for other people to come see it, to share with them on how meaningful/important/touching a certain blog it. That's why I did so.

But anyway, I received some feedbacks from some of my friends about my blog. They kept wondering about something. Blogs are supposed for a person to express themselves and their feelings, right? In other words, there isn't much need to purposely show others about your blog, since it's something personal. But why does JY aka Jonathan insist in showing off his blog address to other people, wanting them to come to his blog? What's so damn special about A Shade from the Dusk anyway?

Well, all I can say is that the reason I want to 'show off' my blog to everyone else is because I want to SHARE it with them. Not just my personal feelings. But some blogs I type are really useful for you guys, so by sharing them, I hope you all won't miss a good chance to change your mind about some of the smallest yet most important matters in the world and your life. I believe by just taking your little while over here, you may be able to change your mind a little. But of course, I'll try to shorten them if possible. >__<

Come back here after a few days, I'll be making a blog against Malaysian's race-discrimination. To those who still are not convinced, let me say this: "If you think that's not my intention, just assume that I purposely gain everyone's attention la. But what matters now is: all feedbacks and rejections about my actions are denied. =p

2009-03-06T19:50:00.002+08:00

For my beloved grandmother, who left our world towards a better place at the ripe age of 93. May all our wishes and prayers reach to her.

I love you. Ever since I knew you, we had loved and cared for one another for so long. After you left us, I have never felt so much love towards you before. In fact, I realized that I love you so much that it's so hard to say goodbye to you...

You represent the entire grandmother-grandfather generation to me. Whenever people mention to me about my grandparents, you will be the first one to pop up in my mind.I remember a long time ago, when I was just a little kid, you would always hug me and carry me around the house, stroke me on the cheek when I was sad or cute. What I remember the most is when you always prepared 6 peanut-butter spread biscuits on a red plate and serve it to me. I can recall how sweet you smiled when you see me happily and hungrily eat up all of it. You didn't mind whether I gave you some or not. All that matters to you was that your dear grandson can eat the biscuits with joy. As long as that is true, you will be happy.

You are also very protective to me. Till this day, I still cannot forgive and forget what I had done to you. When I was 10 and you were 82, I remembered storming into the house angrily with a the house keys on my hand. At that moment, my mum was scolding me for being so naughty to steal the keys and walking far from home. I entered the house, only to hear you saying that "Why are you such a bad boy?". I do not know why, perhaps too furious till I lost you mind, I threw the metal keys right towards your head. Immediately, both my parents were outraged, as they separately took their beating canes and whacked the hell out of me. Suddenly, after stroking the painful part of your forehead, you said "Please stop beating him. Forgive him. It's nothing! I do not feel any pain at all." That time, I didn't feel anything from those words. Until today, I feel the pain deep in my heart and I regret so much of what I had done. How could a grandson do such unforgivable things to his grandmother? But I could never understand: how could a grandmother forgive her grandson even though he did something so unforgivable towards her?

Those hours, days and weeks where you keep working hard at the garden, planting all those vegetables for us to eat. Although you're so old, but you still worked so hard. Seeing you touch your back due to pain, I could not stop wondering what keeps you going on for so long. When I asked you, then I realized that you're 88 years old already. But you said, "It's nothing! It's so boring sitting in the house. At least planting some things for you to eat during dinner is fine for me!" Then I realized: although you're old with your wrinkly skin, you have so much stamina in you. During those times, we will always stay together happily, play cards together, watch TV and laugh together, sleep on the same bed, stay outside the house, sharing the same bright sun......but you shown no sign of fatigue or unwillingness. You loved me, played with me and cared for me with no request of repaying our debts ever since I was a baby, till I was a kid, a teenager...

Then, by the year of 2005, everything changed. You were diagnosed with Hepatitis B. Doctors said that your salliva can never contact with our mouths or we'll get infected as well. From that day onwards, I felt as if so many bonds between us had broken apart. We could not share the same plate or meal anymore. We could not share the same utensils anymore. We couldn't even share the same seat anymore. Due to that, you've grown weaker. You will sleep more than work. We no longer see you working outside at the gardens. I felt so isolated from you after your unfortunate diagnosis. You may had suffered a lot because we kept isolating ourselves from you; you may had suffered from not being able to control when to shit, shitting instantly after meals; you may had suffered the life of wearing diapers... but you stayed strong. You showed no sign of giving up your life, always going on with your life. When I asked you, "Are you okay, granny?" You would just scold me, "I'm fine. Go away. Don't worry about me." I did not know whether you really were okay, or you did not want me to see you suffer.

Time passed. Your body was growing weaker and skinnier. You no longer walked around the house and watch TV with us. Every time, after every meal, you would just walk back to bed and sleep till the next meal. Your life was only bound to eat and sleep. At the moment, I did not know how much pain you had tolerated and suffered. As a grandson, I am in guilt, because I did not take care of you when you're in pain. While I'm in pain, you would always care for me. But when I was around 17-18, I preferred playing my games over taking care of you. I couldn't believe how terrible I was as a grandson. But you would always look at me while giving me a weak smile, saying "Go play your games then, don't worry about me." I can't believe how my computer addiction can lead to my negligence towards you, what's worse of all, I can't believe how you didn't mind at all and forgiving me all the time, without me knowing it! Doctors even said they she may not last any longer from that time, but how the hell can I still ignore you!!

By the year 2008, you were still with us, at that time I was ready to leave for my college life. Before I left, you cried so much and hugged me so tight till my ribs seemed to get crushed. For the first time in my life, I truly felt someone crying for me. All her pure tears flowing out from her small wrinkled eyes, just for me. It is then I finally realized, how much I had meant to her... how much she had loved me... how much longer she wanted to be with me, in hopes that I'll never leave... in hopes that time would stop, just for a few minutes so we can rejoice together happily... At that moment, I nearly stopped myself from leaving home. Around May, I returned. She was so overjoyed to see me return, she gave me the same rib-crushing hug. We talked and laughed again, just like the old times. After my holidays, before leaving for the airport, you would cry again, giving me the same old rib-crushing hug, making me reluctant to return to KL, again and again.

Ever since my last return at 4th December 2008, during 5th December 2008 was one of the most unforgetable moment in my life. It was also the reason why I didn't go out with my friends. When I met Granny on her cozy bed in our house, she wasn't even getting up from bed anymore. I went over and pulled her up. Suddenly, she yelled in pain. Her spine was aching badly. She seemed unable to get out of bed anymore due to her deteriorating condition. I kept encouraging her, "Never mind, po-po. Let's try a different way." But no matter how I tried to get her up, she'll yell in pain. I did not want her to feel pain, so I let go of her. There was no way she could get up. My eyesight was getting watery, I thought, "Is granny unable to get up forever?" Suddenly, my grandma started to laugh. As she laughed, her grin became sour as tears started to flow from her eyes. She knew - she is getting older and weaker. Is granny crying because she felt as if she's about to die? I convinced her not to think so much and keep focusing on getting out of bed. Then, she gripped my arm tight and started to move her mouth. "I'm feeling so bad right now..." We were staring at each other for that long moment, feeling her flowing tears. I was controlling myself not to cry, until she said, "I feel so bad... my grandson is suffering because of me..."

She... at times like these, still thinks about me...

At February 14, 2009, all Granny did was just lying down on he cozy bed with a maid besides her should anything goes wrong. Before leaving home, I went over to see Granny. She was sleeping. I called her repeatingly. "Po-po.... po-po..." She struggled to open her eyes, as I saw her eyes staring at me weakly, I said, "I'll be going back to KL! So, you better take care of yourself, okay?" She didn't reply to me at all. I had no idea whether she no longer knew how to reply me, or she purposely ignored me. I whispered at her ears. "Thanks for taking care of me for so long. I will never forget what you had done for me. As your dear grandson, I thank you for being my beloved, cheerful, once hyperactive grandmother."

"I love you grandma, and I'll love you always."

She still didn't give any reaction, my tears were starting to flow like crazy, so I forced myself to leave. As I said goodbye to granny, she said the last words to me, words so meaningful and touching in my life, that they carved themselves right into my heart. She mumbled:

"Study hard."

At March 3, 2009, 3pm, she finally rested in peace, at her own cozy bed. When I received the words from my sister, I felt cool, although my sister was crying as she informed me the news. After putting down the phone, I left my unit and stared up at the sky. It started to rain lightly with a cold breeze of wind. As I gazed up, tiny raindrops landed on my entire face, making it wet, but it no longer matters. I closed my eyes and smiled. "Granny, thanks for being my grandmother for so long. I will never forget whatever you've done for me. I promise you - I'll study hard amd I won't let everyone down!"

At that point where raindrops and tears mixed on my face, I felt as if granny was smiling at me, slowly stroking my cheek with her warm hand...

My sister and I returned home at March 4, 2009 to attend her funeral at March 5, 2009. At Telipok, she finally found her resting place. She was the one who made me realized, how strong my conditional love was, how deep her unconditional love is to me...

Grandma, thank you, I'm sorry, and I love you. I always will. =)

To Live

2009-02-27T19:25:00.004+08:00

Imagine having a life against the natural flow of aging. To make things sound more easier to understand, it's something like you're born physically old and as times pass by, you'll get younger and younger, while everyone else is getting older and older. What would a life like this be?

This one miracle guy answers them all in the movie "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". Starring Brad Pitt, this is a story about a human being born as an old man. Physically old but mentally young. As Benjamin slowly grows up, he becomes younger every day. Healed from broken bones and being crippled, Benjamin's situation can only be explained as God's miracle, nothing else. The story continues about Benjamin's story from getting old to growing young. Enjoy it if you are interested in it. =)

After seeing the movie, I was very deep in thoughts. While seeing the movie, I feel a great sense of sadness within me. Nobody wants to grow old. While you're young, you can walk, run and jump up high, full of energy and enthusiasm. As you start aging, you'll begin to get disease and your body gets weaker. You get osteoperosis easier, organ failures, fatigue. At some point, you can't even run normal anymore. It's life. People get old one day and it hurts to imagine then decades from today, you may not be able to walk or move as lively as you can anymore. You feel like appreciating everything while you're young, but you just can't do so because your life is not at its highest peak. In the end, when your life is at its fullest, you may not be energetic enough to enjoy it...

About aging, that reminds me of accepting death. It really hurts to see someone you truly love leave you . Of course, they'll remain in your heart, that's what you'll say, but just imagine, whenever you thought of that person, there's a burning feeling within you to urge yourself to meet that person, to talk to that person, to stay with that person for just a little while, to feel that sense of warmth and happiness with the company of that loved one, which can no longer be with you......

Well, that's all I can say about the movie, don't know what else to type. So well, as a conclusion, I feel afraid of getting old and dying, but well, the only thing we can all do now is wait and appreciate what we have now, don't you think? ^ ^

2009-02-24T11:56:00.002+08:00

To think that life is full of choices, whereby each and every step you take counts in determining your future. Some stepped right into a pit, never coming out of it; some stepping on a staircase, gradually ascending to reach for the stars; while some may just step on the pavement full of rocks and dungs, dodging them along the way. I just realized that life is whatever you made up of it from. So yeah, live the way you want your life to be. I've been saying that for a lot of times now. XD

Anyway, I'm now at a place in my college called "The Learning Center" (TLC), currently typing on a public computer out of boredom. Right now, my lecturer will be coming soon to teach us about a degree subject: Data Structures and Abstractions. If you want to know how hard it'll be, just search up the meaning of Abstractions. I'll be making a new post about racist problem shortly....hope I won't offend like before....gotta start to stop simply using my feelings to assume.

Off I go then.

共勉之~

2009-02-18T17:24:00.003+08:00

This blog is a tribute to 4 of my friends: Ice, Water, Rock & Gold. =)

人生的路 – 不管有多么艰难困苦, 都要勇敢地向前走.

这是我第二次使用华文来写我的blog. 当然, 一个像我这样的人突然间会以这种方法来表达自己的意思, 会有一点奇怪吧! 所以如果之中有任何语病, 请原谅! >__<

自从我回到沙巴的那一天, 我对人生改观了很多. 回来西马过后, 才发觉到自己的思想变了很多. 想当年, 我有很多不好的毛病, 使不少人对我有偏见. 至今, 想回去以前的‘我’时, 我觉得自己是有多么的好笑. 好吧, 就让我和你们分享我的缺点. 不好意思啦, 让我啰嗦一下!

以前的我, 是非常喜欢扮聪明的. 对于很多事物, 虽然我真的不懂, 但是我会扮知道, 因为不想被人看不起. 在里头, 我最后悔的一项就是自以为是. 在解决问题时, 我一直都会以自己的意思去处理, 更会随便判断对错. 直到一天, 有一个女孩和我讲心事, 说自己在选大学的方面,父母给她很大压力, 她觉得很辛苦. 我以为她暂时完全不想进大学, 也不敢告诉父母实话, 我便过去告诉她的父母亲. 之后, 她被父母责骂. 其实, 她完全没有埋怨, 更没有‘不想读大学’的念头. 就这样, 我少了一个朋友. 当时, 我反省了: 当一个人要处理任何问题时, 一定要理智, 不可以冲动, 要好好地思考最佳解决办法. 不仅如此, 倘若某个问题是牵涉到另一个人时. 不可以太主观, 偶尔也要考虑别人的感受和决定. 要尝试去知道另一方究竟想什么, 要什么. 这样一来, 会更容易把问题给解决.

然后, 我以前很难才能做好一个决定. 因为我很害怕做错决定, 使我后悔. 虽然我有了决定, 但是我很容易被别人影响. 只是从他们的嘴巴说出的几句话都已经足够来让我无法下定决心. 此外, 我也很害怕会得罪/伤害人, 所以自己不敢提出/发表我的意见和立场. 最后, 我的朋友都说我没有主见. 如果一个人时常因为怕得罪/伤害人, 或者是要随着别人的意思去做的话, 最辛苦的人, 始终都是自己… 所以我答应了自己要有主见, 坚持自己的立场.

之前, 我来KDU的时候, 一个朋友都没有. 因为觉得太孤独, 非常需要朋友, 把自己原本的性格掩盖了. 一个‘假’我形成了, 而这个‘假’我是为了要被别人欢喜, 接受而制造出来的. 当有了固定的好朋友后, 因为自己知道无论如何都会有这些好朋友在身边支持. 就这样, 自己真正的性格和态度将会显示出来. 所以, 找到了好朋友, 一个人不可以太得意忘形, 要时时刻刻看到自己, 以免露出不好的一面. 身为一个朋友, 我们都不想它发生吧…

最后, 如果从我妈妈身上学到一个道理, 那就是 “肯付出就不可在意”. 帮父母做工的时候, 我会在意父母会给我什么礼物/奖赏. 直到去年, 发觉自己和蔼可亲的妈妈照顾及爱护我了二十年, 她却没有要求任何回报. 世上的妈妈太伟大了. T.T 如果真心爱一个人的话, 就算为对方付出, 但对方不为你付出, 都不能介意, 埋怨.

好啦, 不啰嗦了. 就这样吧. 这些道理, 我好不容易才体会到, 所以我很想在这里和你们分享啦. 如果你遇到的境况就犹如我上述所说的一样的话, 就好好去看, 了解, 明白, 学习吧! 希望通过这些话, 能够帮助你们啦. 有任何得罪之处请多多包涵.

Thank you for your time!＾＾

2009-02-13T07:59:00.002+08:00

People say that 14 February is Valentine's Day. Well, to me, there's something far more important about this day than Valentine's Day. I'm going back to college. Yep, time passes fast, 2 and a half months are gone. Like any regular Sabahan, he/she will definitely miss Sabah like hell and wishes not to leave anymore. In the end, he/she'll be back in KL. T.T

Other than that, I'm leaving my hometown, this time very worried and moody. There are some happenings that are beyond your control. What makes it worse is that these happenings are beyond your sight. Could this be good - to make you unable to see the bad happenings? Or just to keep me away from it?

As you'll know, I always imply on what I really want to say. Asides that, I'll always leave a hidden hint somewhere in any post that has me implying in it.

But anyway, I'm finally going back.

She's getting weaker....

Love

2009-02-09T13:00:00.009+08:00

Once again, I lost track of updating my blog again. >__<

Coming back to KL on 14th feb, or Valentine's Day for some of you, I'm pretty sure only a few people will be travelling at that day, because I know plenty of people, specifically couples, will not prefer to have any minute of February 14 to be wasted on flights, do they? They must have reached their destinations already before that day, pack their schedules full for the day and for the night, have a hotel room booked for their "quality time". =3

Valentine's Day? Me? Will you really think that I'll have one? XD

Let's not get to that. Anyway, I know that right now I have no rights to argue or mention anything about love, because I'm so inexperienced, but to me, love is blissful and warm, but complicated and contradict(矛盾). Love comes and leaves beyond anyone's control and it's definitely not something to die for. Love is the remedy for single's starvation and the venom for depression. Some people try bravely without thinking about the consequences, while some others do not dare to go for it, due to being too cautious, remaining single all the time. I'm sure saying this would be quite sensitive to some of you, but please forgive me if I said anything wrong, don't forget I'm inexperienced. Haha!

After hearing many of my friends' experiences on love matters, I think: should I find a girl that I have feelings towards her and go for it? At first, I MAY HAVE FELL for this. Then, after redeeming myself, I realized that IF i really like a girl, I would not have the guts to go after her. You may say that this is a cowardly action, but to me, how can I possibly try and love or care for someone else, IF i can't even take care of my own self? It sounds funny, doesn't it? After I can manage and take care of myself, then I may consider... But perhaps by that moment I'll be single. T.T But as long as I'm concerned, I will not be thinking about love right now.

Once again, I hope you guys can share with us what you think about 'love' and anything else you like to. If you feel like commenting but don't know how, all you have to do is click the 'Comments' button below, wait for the pop-up, then type your comment and check the third tab of the identity section (Name/URL), you don't have to put a URL, just your name will do, click the "Publish Comment" button and you're done. Hopefully, I can get to hear the voices of you guys. =D

My words may be true at this moment, but who knows? Maybe one day a girl will rock my world upside down. If things and love are meant to bend that way, I may end up as someone's boyfriend through fate and time and there's nothing anybody can do about it. I won't think about love at all, but maybe after that I will all day. After that, whatever I mention above is referred to as 'crap' and 'nonsense'.

Being self contradictory? Me? My friend, love is contradict after all, isn't it? =)

A driving exam.

2009-01-31T05:33:00.002+08:00

No matter what I wrote, just wanna let you know that I recovered again, waiting for my next challenge and chance.

I met up with some of my friends a few days ago (not you guys, Peta and friends), they told me that my blog is too damn long till they don't even want to read it at all. At first I've been thinking why and how to shorten it. Then I realized that I'm just sharing my life and experience IN DETAILS. XD So nope, I'm still writing it my way. =)

About the driving exam. I failed. Funny to sound, eh? To think that I can pass in one go, only to find out that I'll actually get nervous while driving. I never knew that, not until my last turn on the steering wheel which drove me and the examiner right into the grassy area. Instead of the road. I thought I was cool and calm while handling matters, but why not driving? =(

I passed the mountains, the parking and the 'tiga penjuru', thanks to God's strength and supports from many of you guys. =) But I can't imagine why did I failed the road test. Perhaps I'm still not steady enough for it. Just like when I was getting 17/20, while reaching THE LAST T-junction and ready to turn right, this car suddenly speeds up right in front of me. I took a strong turn to the left, and we ended up in the grass. She (the examiner) crossed out "Kawalan steering tidak baik" and "Memandu secara berbahaya".

You can say it's the car's fault. I know it isn't but I can stop blaming it. Haha! But actually it's my fault for not being calm enough while driving. If I'm not quick enough, we may end up in the drains and the examiner's life is at risk. They have their difficulties too, for always sitting in a car that may crash anytime. But still, is it true that this is part of who I am? To be clumsy and unsteady while dealing with serious matters? Like driving or cooking?

Is that a reason why I don't have the courage to do something I really wanted to do for the past few months? Just because I'm afraid I can't take care of myself?

Blog Update

2009-01-27T19:51:00.003+08:00

So hey guys! I can see that it's been a while since I updated my blog on a frequent basis. I guess it's time for me to refresh it before it gets dusty again. Well, I'll just put up a few points on what I've been doing or undergoing these days.

- Having bad hair days. After that awful haircut, I can't get a hair style that I'm comfortable with. Yes yes, I know I don't have a hair style, but hey, this hair style I'm having right now is really depressing compared to the last ones. T.T

- My driving exam is chosen on the 4th day of CNY, right at the day at our hangout at Mr. E's house. I'm the 40th in line to take the exam, and I'm not sure when can I get back to his house. Both the JPJ exam and our Mr. E's house visit is important to me...but anyway, gambateh for the driving exam~

- Currently working on a big video project for 10 days and still counting. But thanks to Corel VideoStudio, I've made wonders in video clips I have, compared to Windows Movie Maker. Anyone who wants subtitles or effects on their memorable video clips, you can find me, or get that program. XD

- Thought about my life in plenty of ways, kinda regret for some attitudes I had back at college and right here. Will start to redeem myself once again.

- Getting my slippers bitten away by Mira everyday.

- Receiving lesser angpaus this year. Sob...

- Feeling bad because I'm too busy with the clips till I don't have time to practice the guitar.

- Waiting to get back to college to settle more things and re-meet my friends over there.

- Damn looking forwards to CNY Day 5.

- Most importantly, I'm always wishing everyone I know to stay healthy, stay cool, stay active and stay happy all the time. ^ ^

Mira - The Pup Who Lived

2009-01-17T12:54:00.006+08:00

Mira is really a cute lovable essence.

Meet Mira.

Her name is pronounced 'Mee-rah' instead of 'My-ra', not even 'Mir-ror'. Like any other ordinary puppies, Mira is cute with her soft fur and beautiful eyes, of course very mischievious, loves to sink her small fangs in almost everything she sees or smells especially plastic bags, sometimes a little annoying to the family, but nonetheless there's is this something you can't hate at all no matter what.

Oh, don't get deceived by her innocent look, as she pretends to raise her front paw to 'shake your hand'. When you stretch your hand to shake her paw, you're in for a big surprise. =)
One thing you must know. She's far more special than any other puppies out there. The name 'Mira' also exists for a reason. For those who've known or seen my sister's blog, or touched Mira before MAY know the reason why.

October 1, 2008 is the day we met. But unfortunately not the way we intended to. One afternoon, my sister heard yelps outside the house. She was restess at that point, but as the yelps kept continuing non-stop, she decided to check it out. When she reached the drain outside our house, she was shocked. She found a small, feeble puppy in the grass-overgrown drain. When she picked her up, the puppy was so weak you can't even feel her breathing. But to have the strength to keep yelping, it really is amazing already.

She brought the puppy back to our house. I left my laptop to see the ill-fated puppy. We were dumbstruck when we inspected her entire body. She was covered with many fire-ants, perhaps over one hundred of them, all sinking their jaws right into the flesh of the poor puppy. Something else caught our eyes and left us flabbergasted. On 3 parts of its body, there are HOLES filled and infested by fire-ants, larvae and maggots. They were crawling all around the holes. You can even see its brain, slowly moving constantly. Other than that, we turned her around and saw more fire-ants sticking on the puppy's flesh. I will not provide any pictures of the puppy's condition that time, because trust me, it really is an unbearable sight to behold.

We felt so helpless, we did not know what to do. Anything we do to try help the puppy may result in worsening her condition, or for the worst. The puppy was getting weaker and weaker every minute. We can't watch her die just like that! We have to help her at all cause! Then I did one of the most disgusting thing ever in my life so far - to pluck out all the fire-ants from her body. The puppy whimpered in agony as one by one the fire-ants are plucked out. When I pluck out one fire-ant, it feels exactly like taking out the cover of a pen. I'm serious. I believe no one would like to experience something like that, but for the puppy's sake, I don't care and I'll keep doing anything I can to rescue her from her misery.

After taking out ALL the damned fire-ants (except those stuck in her 3 deep flesh wounds), we brought her to the vet to get her healed and wounds all sealed up. This is how she was right after the operation: Creepy-crawlies removed and hole remains.

The doctor said she has only a 50/50 chance of survival. This puppy has been too lucky to ever survive this mishap. Other puppies might just give in to Nature's Act. As we placed her into a small basket covered with cloth, the puppy showed no sign of breathing. At first we thought she wasn't going to make it, also giving in to Nature's Act. But we sincerely prayed to God so that this puppy will be able to overcome this horror befalling her. Survive, little puppy! We have faith in you!

Then, after the days pass by, she started to show some signs of recovering and fighting to survive.

Soon after that, she started to walk and eat normally. All her wounds were also healing. In the end, we were all touched deeply when we heard her first joyful bark.

Till now, she is still the same puppy, biting whatever she smells, giving surprises to people trying to shake her hand, and giving us a hard time to make her quiet. But she's still special. That's why we all love her. We may get bitten and have our shoes dragged to any corner of the backyard. Well, what's that compared to our unconditional love towards dear Mira?

To look back at my first sentence of the blog, despite the grammar error, there's actually a meaning inside it. That's also the reason why we called her 'Mira'.

Mira Is Really A Cute Lovable Essence

Work

2009-01-12T20:43:00.005+08:00

For the past few days, I've been working. For money.

This is my house's desktop computer. My job is to input all the bills and receipts of my dad's company into a database software, which many of you have heard of, which is UBS Accounting System. For Art Class students, this surely rings a bell in you. For Science students, some of you may heard of it and some may not. But it's an accounting/database management software.

Okay, so I wasn't really working with the outside world, but hey, my dad promises me to give me some 'salary' once I finished with the work. Data after data, documents after documents, day after day, I kept typing and typing, basically doing the same thing all over again.

I have to admit that over the 'working days', I've dozed off over the same old work twice already. Till today, I still cannot imagine how boring and dull and meaningless it may seem to keep repeating everyday all over again, keep doing the same thing with no slight changes in life, keep going through the daily routine every time till you retire... Sorry if this sounds sensitive and personal, but I have to tell the truth that this is how I feel about working life. Dull. Un-'lively'. Sooner or later, depressing and in the end, making an enjoyable life not enjoyable. I just couldn't stand doing the same thing for the rest of my life. Perhaps that's life. Perhaps that's reality indeed. Maybe I'm still too naive and not ready to face the facts yet, still standing tall and boastful about having the best life I can have. But, I've heard from some of my friends that they actually like this kind of lifestyle. Doing the same thing all over again till they stop working and live happy at old age. Without doing anything adventurous. Exciting. Lively. At first, I don't understand why. Then again, I felt that I'm too selfish and self-centered. I should respect others' opinions and perspectives as well.

To be honest, I still enjoyed working these few days. There are indeed many challenges (not physically) while doing my work. Wonder how much will I get? XD So, that's all for my post then. Oh, and Alison? Please take note that I'll be making a post about dear Mira. If you want to do it first, or you've done it already, or maybe you got something to say, better say it now, or I'll begin typing after a few days from now. Haha!

I guess I'm still not ready to enter the real world...

A terrifying driving lesson

2009-01-08T16:15:00.005+08:00

I failed my QTI.

To be honest, I nearly forgotten how afraid I was to sit in any kind of transport, for example, buses, trains and even airplanes. The reason is because I fear that at anytime if the transport malfunctions or explodes, I'll die in it and there's nothing I can do but have my life ended. Well, that's thinking too pessimistic, you may say. Whatsoever, I FEARED being in transportations, soon after sitting on KTMs, LRTs and 'AirAsia's, I forgotten how afraid I was about this matter. After my QTI, I FEAR being in transportations. Not as serious as before, but it kept my hear pounding insanely.

So after 8 hours of driving lessons, I gained plenty practices and experience on 'Naik Bukit', 'Parking' and 'Tiga Penjuru'. Which is my most confident part? It's the driving-on-the-highway part. XD Then, my QTI (Pra-Ujian) started and a so-called examiner entered the small lime green Kancil. He wasn't as friendly as my instructor before, so I got a little uncomfortable and started driving.

The way he instructs is completely different than the previous instructor. The aunty taught me to go slow and steady, make sure you have a long distance afar before U-turning or switching lanes. But this uncle rushes. Just like those ordinary drivers. He will ask me to switch gear even before I gain speed and he wants me to switch lanes as fast as I could, even though a speeding car is heading my way. In other words, the aunty is 'slow' and 'steady', the uncle is 'fast' and 'aggresive'. Maybe I'm too slow and steady already even though it's not a bad thing. But I admit, I was very nervous and panicking when he kept instructing me to rush and rush. I wasn't used to it, so I didn't know what I was doing. Just after that, when I turned out of the U-junction, suddenly, way too abruptly due to losing control over his instructions...

I hit the brakes on the opposite road after the junction. The car stopped dead.

The uncle was yelling at me like hell. I stared to my left and stunned as I saw cars speeding towards me. My whole mind went blank. It's a feeling similar to you standing in front of a locomotive train's railways, head on with the light-speed train. The cars started horning frenzily without decelerating, the instructor starts yelling at me like hell, forcing me to keep rushing and drew his hands on my steering wheel to take over. This could sound dramatic, but at that moment, everything was like moving in slow-motion. My whole body paralyzed with fear, there was nothing in this world that could knock me out of this feeling. For the first time of my life, I felt so afraid and lost. I had no idea what would happen next, perhaps I don't even know what to do at all. Then... suddenly, uncertain of who or what made me snap back to reality...

I pressed down the accelerator with full force and released my foot from the clutch. The whole car jerked and sped off the road, right into another safe lane for U-turning. Without hesitation, I grabbed the steering wheel and spun with all my might. My heart was pounding like crazy, pounding as if it never pounded before. After much hard work, I finally regained control over the Kancil. The uncle was extremely furious but petrified as well. I turned out of the safe lane and resumed my journey back to the JPJ HQ.

After reaching the HQ, he left the car in a hurry, sat on a table nearby and wrote my marks for this QTI. I didn't care at all on how much marks I got, at the moment I was still recalling the events that happened not long ago, on how careless and reckless I was, on how I could get myself and the uncle killed right on the spot, on how I treated all these driving lessons as a game just because I assumed I got the hang on it...... The reason I disliked driving and refused to learn driving all came to surface.

Before much thoughts, the uncle handed over my results. I stared at the paper and I was stunned once again.

After reaching home at the end of my lesson, as I sit in front of my laptop typing this, I still could not forget what happened today. Because of today, I learnt a valuable lesson. Don't take driving too lightly. As a driver, you put every passenger's safety in your hands, not just that, all those pedestrians, motorcyclists and cars near you are also indirectly under your mercy. One careless move and tragedies will happen. Just keep that in mind guys. Anyway, I passed my QTI actually, but to me, I'll take it as a fail, because I screwed up in the end. Badly. The only words the uncle written are these:

I was willing to go for another 2 hours. I don't mind. I will not repeat the same mistake again. I will not! The next time I step into a car, I will not be careless! I will always be in constant vigilance at all cause! It's a promise to myself and I will keep it!

Anyway, if you guys have any terrible driving experiences, whether before, during or after the JPJ exam, feel free to comment them here for all of us, I'll appreciate that. Oh, for some of you who don't know how to post comments (a friend of mine doesn't know), just click on 'Comments' and click the third tab: Name/URL. You can put your name but not the URL. The comment will go up as usual. =)

Till next time, JPJ exam, I'll be ready!

Movies I recommend once again.

2009-01-07T06:57:00.009+08:00

Well! Happy New Year everybody! Although it's quite late already, but nah, who cares? XD

So, there I am, pretending that I'm a great movie reviewer. D= I didn't watch Quarantine at all due to my exams. The Day The Earth Stood Still was nice, but it lacks a proper climax. In the end, for The Spirit? Ha.Ha.Ha. I found out that plenty people left even before the showed reached halfway, even including those who left from the movie hall me and my friends were in. Haha! To me, this is a fair movie, but to others, it sucked like hell. Haha! Sorry for recommending this movie to you guys, but don't worry, I 'll try better next time!
Anyway, wanna see the reviews on this movie? =D

So, here we go with 3 more movies!

(1) Inkheart

This movie will be released around January 22. This is one movie many are talking about.

(with proper reference from the synopsis at GSC.com) One night, a bunch of thugs arrive at the house and kidnap Mo (Brendan Fraser) to take him to see , a cruel and evil dictator. Mo’s daughter, Meggie (Eliza Bennett) soon finds out that Mo has the ability to read characters out of books. The only drawback is that when he brings something out of a story, something must go back in to replace it. This is how her mother (Sienna Guillory) went in to the book, “Inkheart”. Determined to get Mo and her mother back, Meggie together with Eleanor, Dustfinger (Paul Bettany) and Farid (characters from “Inkheart”) set-out an epic quest. Can they find another copy of Inkheart to send Capricorn and his thieves back into its pages?

(2) Red Cliff II

I can't believe I'm posting this. XD

Well, I have to admit that I don't watch Red Cliff at all, but not just Asians, but plenty of people around the world are amazed of John Woo's directing skills. His movies never fail anyone and keeps them clinging to their seats throughout his movies. One of the many fantastic series he directed is "Red Cliff". To tell you the truth, when Red Cliff first went on the screens, it struck down Hancock in its gross, estimated by $550,000. With a budget of US$80million, Red Cliff is the most expensive Asian-financed film to date. Although it sounds like a big movie gamble, but through all the positive reviews from millions of people, Red Cliff scored glory and hence the expected second part of it. This movie will be released at 23 January.

(3) Valkyrie

A not-so-attractive-from-the-outside movie that I recommend. =)

Tom Cruise is leading in this act. Although this movie had been shown around the U.S., but Malaysia's having it shown this year, at 12 February 2009. I wouldn't want to post its sypnosis because it's damn long, so I'll just give a brief. This is a true story about an unknown hero in a "July 20 plot" to kill Hitler during the World War II. I believe this will be an interesting movie (far better than The Spirit), so I recommend this movie for you all. As a reminder, I rather you save the money for other movies if THIS movie sounds uncertain to you. But trust me, this is one great movie with great casting. Anyone who likes Body of Lies, try this.

So, that's all for the recommended movies. Some other movies which I have not mentioned but good to see - can be viewed by you guys. Such as Underworld: Rice of the Lycans, the movie inspired by Quarantine, Rec[●] and maybe Pink Panther 2! For the time being, till then my friends. And you can check out the 3 movies' trailers at the right side of this blog.

趁现在

2008-12-30T09:47:00.001+08:00

突然我用华语打字，有什么毛病或者得罪人的地方就请原谅啦。

提前祝福你们 Happy New Year 2009!!

我又在这里打字了啊。虽然我不晓得有谁/有多少人会到这里参观，不过我能够确认：来参观的人都是 college/university 的学生。哈哈！话说到这里，其实，college 的生活很棒，也非常丰富。中学过后的“高等教育生活”(tertiary life) (我没使用“大学生活”，因为我要包括读学院的学生)让我认识了好多不同的朋友，不同的环境，不同的场面……无论如何，这些一定会给我好多的回忆。好啦，回到我们的重点。

你是否正在过着你的“高等教育生活”，直到它最充分的？
( Are you living your tertiary life till its fullest?)

为什么我那么注重“高等教育生活”呢？其实，对于大多数人（连正在工作的人包括在内)，他们都认同“高等教育生活”是最丰富、最充实的生活时期。比起小学及中学的生活，“高等教育的生活”给你比较多自由、比较多私人空间，也可以让你学习如何独立，同时也随着预测不到的局势让你真正地认识自己。那么当然，一些人觉得小学及中学的生活都能给他们如此的机会，可是对我来说，境界差得远咯~我给一个好例子。小学中学时期，你都处于父母的手掌里。到了大学生活，父母就慢慢地放松紧紧的手掌，给你更多空间。同意吗？

当一个人踏入“高等教育生活”时，无数的机会将会降临在他的身上。不管是学业、朋友、爱情都好，我们都拥有无数的机会，也有无数的选择。因此，我们的生活是比较开放的。也因为如此，“高等教育生活”是比较自由、轻松、开朗、快乐的。来了这段生活，一个人做什么都可以，更可以随心所欲地过着自己的生活。这个时候你可以无忧无虑，享受你自己的生活！不过，也别忘了要时时刻刻看到自己，不要太过得意忘形，以免乐极生悲。哈哈！

上了大学或学院的学生之中，也会有一部分的学生认为这种生活很凄凉，因为他们读书读到很辛苦。这些人会认为：一生之中最辛苦的生活就是“高等教育生活”。难道踏入社会工作的生活不辛苦吗？当你开始做工了，你就会因忙碌而失去原本的自由，为了赚钱不断地勤劳工作。随着社会的黑暗及压力，你也会渐渐遗失之前的乐观心态，心情也会逐渐低落，最后导致自己连私人的空余时间都没有。起码在大学，你会比做着工的人更快乐、更自由。而且，你也不用一直约束自己，你能够坦然一点，露出自己的心声，把心胸打开，享受当下！那当然，不能太放肆，偶尔要学习看情况而行动。不然，做工时太放肆，老板会开除你的！

当机会降临在你手上时，绝对不能放手，要好好把握机会，因为机会有可能不会再来第二次。有了机会，就要珍惜它。当你有机会踏入“高等教育生活”，就要好好掌握这个难得的机会，好好尝试、享受当下。如果你觉得开心玩乐是所谓的享受，那就尽情地玩乐！不过别忘了要好好安排时间，抽出时间来读书，因为那时你读大学的真正目的；如果你觉得勤劳读书是所谓的享受，那就尽情地读书！不过别忘了偶尔要抽出一点时间来玩乐，放松及安定一下自己的情绪。最重要，就是无论做什么事，不要让自己因为没去做而后悔！只要你能够把你的“高等教育生活”活得最充实，就问心无愧！

各位，趁现在。

"Ancient Artifact"

2008-12-20T13:21:00.002+08:00

Hey, check this out. =)

Remember this petrol-filling machine? The one we used tens of years ago which now seems to be extinct? I found one in Keningau. Haha!

It's not even digital, it's using scrolling numbers! Haha! I really miss machines like this. When I was small I'll keep enjoying while looking at the numbers go up and up and up......

Hey, does KL still have this kind of machine?

Trip to Keningau

2008-12-17T20:15:00.009+08:00

Thanks for dropping by again! But to catch up with this story, kindly see the previous blog first so you can understand and enjoy this so-called 'sequel'!
http://thisonespot.blogspot.com/2008/12/lol-trip-to-keningau.html

Well, sorry for not posting this earlier, the telephone line was cut off and after some patience, I'm back here, beginning to type. Anyway, damn the trip on Monday, here I am prepared to go for Keningau again and THIS TIME, we shall not fail!!!! >:D

So I left my house in my cousin's same car (it's fixed already) at 7.50am. Then we stopped by his house to do some stuffs. Then, at 9.10am sharp, my cousin, uncle and I left Putatan - their hometown.

STARTING POINT - Putatan (121km left to Keningau)

Finally, we made our way, past Kibabaig, past Babagon, passing the unknown crossroad......

Then, the car made an awesome turn at a curve a few kilometres away from the crossroad and stopped dead at the grassy area.

FIRST STOP - An unknown curve at Kampung Malapi

AGAIN!!!!!! NOT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, my cousin and my uncle up there. The time is 9.50am. My cousin called the repairsman to come over, 15 minutes from Donggongon, just to reach the curve and take us back. Thankfully, the car can still function. Yup, the same problem. But well, this one guy took so long to come, we waited for 1 hour and 10 minutes. I repeat. 1 HOUR AND 10 MINUTES!! So, we went back to Donggongon, to the car service center. By the time we reached there, it's 11.30am already.

SECOND STOP - Donggongon

But this time, it's not the last of us! My cousin decided to switch into his van, so we took some more time to get the van, and resume our journey with the van. This time, my friends, THIS TIME, we shall not fail!!! So, we continued our journey from Donggongon at 12.10pm. And as we are confident to the van, we passed the unknown (or the cursed) crossroad AND curve, onwards! I can tell you that the cool wind sweeping on your body, the refreshing feeling and the nice scenery around you just for your eyes. It really is an amazing feeling. I hope he could keep driving forever. The mist around us is so thick and cold I can even do this:

Then, after 2 hours and 11 minutes (to be approximate), we reached Keningau at 2.10pm! Finally!

THIRD STOP - KENINGAU!!! (after travelling 121 freaking kilometres)

Unfortunately, we weren't free enough to walk around the city or take pictures, don't forget we're here for business, not enjoyment. T.T Don't worry, I'll be sure to take some more pictures next time. Anyway, there's this 'Keningau Coffee Shop' that serves really good bread, and they're freshly made and tasty. If you don't believe, go to Keningau and find this shop and eat their bread. I guarantee you'll feel satisfied. =) After that, we went to Keningau State Library, deal with the pump matters, and prepared to leave at 5pm. The trip was very dark, as night falls quick in our hometown. Plus, the road is slippery due to the ongoing rain, plus the fog and mist. It really is a tough ride home. But finally we pulled it through and I safely reached home at 7.30pm. Although we didn't go to many places around Keningau, but I really enjoyed the ride. After so long, we finally went to Keningau and finished the work we're supposed to do!!! Rejoice! ^ ^

FINAL STOP - Home (after travelling another 121 km)

Total travel distance - About 250km
Total time taken - 11 hours 40 minutes

Then I received a phone call from my cousin:

"Shit! I forgotten to deliver the Delivery Order to our customer at Tambunan!"

Lol Trip to Keningau

2008-12-15T11:24:00.005+08:00

It's a bright fun day, where my cousin brother calls me out to another corner of my hometown Sabah - Keningau to do some matters. But yay, I get to go travelling! I will be sharing the 3 destinations along the journey, so sit back and enjoy the ride! (Wait a minute, ok, fine, sit back and continue scrolling down. XD)

When my cousin's car is travelling along the 'kampung' road, suddenly, his father sensed something wrong with the car. Then he parked the car along the grassy area beside the road to check the car.

Then, both of them and I got down the car to do some inspection on the ill-fated car.

Indeed, the engine oil cannot be pumped to the head of the engine (as what he told me), so going up hills will be 'fatal' for the car. My cousin and uncle were discussing so busily about the car's condition and stuff. Me? I tried to help, so I went to the car front and checked the engine to see which part/component is having problems. At first sight of the engine, I admit - I don't know anything about cars.

After much consideration, we decided to drive back the car (in low or free gear) to a car-service center. Luckily the car is still functionable. But of course, the car needs to stop at some points of the journey back to let it rest for a while. I called my mum to come to us and escort us back if something goes wrong. So, we started moving.

STARTING POINT - An unknown crossroad

After a while, we stopped the car below a tree for some shade and rest.

FIRST STOP - Babagon (300 metres from the unknown crossroad)

Then, we stopped again after travelling, just to meet up with my mum.

SECOND STOP - Kibabaig (500 metres from the unknown crossroad)

Finally, we stopped at the service center and brought the car to repairs.

THIRD STOP - Donggongon (3km from the unknown crossroad)

At last, I reached home and made this blog. Well, damn, this is the shortest trip I've ever had. And we haven't even travel 5km for the entire journey! ARRGHHHH!!!!!!

I'm going back again tomorrow, so let's hope next time the trip doesn't go wrong.

FINAL STOP - Home

Total travel distance - 4km

Total time taken - 2 hours and 15 minutes

Blog

2008-12-11T08:41:00.001+08:00

You know, somehow or rather, I have this funny feeling that whenever I post up a blog, no one's gonna read or comment on it anyway, since they prefer seeing MSN spaces. Haha! Some come as well, but they don't put in comments (which to be honest, I really hope they will). For quite a while, I've been thinking: why do I keep writing anyway? Should I just start to stop writing blogs? Don't worry, I won't be thinking like that, since I'm determined to keep writing whether anyone sees this or not. But sometimes I'm quite jealous about those people who have millions of blog views, compared to mine. I really wonder how they got their blogs to such limits. Come to think about it, I sound quite hyprocritic now. I really want many people to view my space, give comments and stuff. On the other hand, I also don't want too many people to view, or else I'll be extremely busy to keep updating non-stop, whether I want to or not.

Some people say that you have to view others' spaces and give comments for people to do the same to you. Haha. The 'boomerang' effect, eh? Well, I should give it a start. By the way, I wonder how many people will reply this time. Excluding my reply to their comments, I predict maximum 3. XD

Will update whatsoever, soon enough~

Temporarily leaving my college life.

2008-12-05T09:30:00.014+08:00

Hey everybody! I know not many people visit my blog, but I'm still here to apologize for not updating my blog. My sister's laptop broke down and she had to send it to repairs. So, I borrowed mine to her, even though I know she won't get soooo bored without a laptop. XD But my god! Living a few days without the laptop really can kill if you're addicted to it! I seriously need to pick up a hobby to fight this disease! Wish me luck! Anyway, guys, gals, I'm back home already! ^ ^ The nostalgic smell in the house filling the air, it makes me feel warm again. There's so many people I wanna see, especially our new puppy, Myra! Hehe, I'll make another blog about her later on. So, before I left KDU hostel, I took some pictures so you guys can see how my room and unit looks like. =D

This is my room. Room 2. By the way, I have a new roommate and he came all the way from China to undertake a 6-month English course. We have some miscommunications at the start, because we can't understand our Chinese accents. Lol! Anyway, we moved in the hanger just in case and my bedsheets has been taken out. I won't be sleeping on that. Hehe. And that's my bookshelf. I don't have many books to put, so all I put are papers and papers. Now you can see how untidy I am. Haha! But besides all that, my room is a very cool room, with the natural cool breeze and the quite nice view from above.

Everytime when I look out of that window, the same spot remains, only there's children having fun in this children sanctuary, and a lot of rubbish after that.

Leaving the room, you can see the dining room and the kitchen, and hopefully, I don't have to tell you which is which. XD Yes, they're very clean, as if no one used the table before. I have to admit that among all the other male units, Unit-312, my unit, is the cleanest among the rest! Ahahaha! Hope it stays the same till I get back...

So after I left my unit, I took some more pictures of the hostel's facilities. Don't judge them by the outlook though. XD

On to your top left side is the badminton court everyone uses to play. They play either at dawn, evening, night, midnight... wait, they play it any hour they want! As long as it's empty, people will plan to play there. Yes, I know it's small and in open-space, but who cares. On to your top right is the TV center. Everyone can sit down and watch a movie together through any channel they want. The TVs have services provided by Astro too. =D Lastly, at the bottom is the place where we do our laundry. For the price of RM3 each, you get to wash and dry your laundry. Well, a dobby shop just opened nearby, so it's kinda hard to decide where to go. Haha! Other than that, we have a study room as well, but unfortunately, I didn't take any pictures of it.

This time, the top left picture shows the Sitting Area. If you have nothing to do, you can sit there and wait for either the bus to come, or just to kill some time. Parents and the wardens sit there to discuss about accomodation matters too. The top right picture is the mailbox and the Water Refiller Machine. You can check by your mailbox - which is based on your unit number, to check whether there's any mail. Other than that, the water refiller machine is one of the 'main characters' in this hostel. No refilling, we'll all dehydrate. Lastly, the security guard house. The guy there is just a mechanic, not the guard. Haha! To be honest, KDU hostel is safe, but strict. So, if you don't mind about transport problems or freedom, it's the right place to stay. Otherwise, it's hell to you. That's why plenty of students move out. But I won't be moving out for now, as nothing is dealing any impact on me. Hehe.

I'm gonna miss this place of course. Not to forget about the new friends I recognize here, especially a guy and a girl that became surprisingly close to me in just months. Whatsoever, I'll miss them all and I'll be back after 2 and a half months. So goodbye KDU! Goodbye my tertiary friends! Goodbye KL! See you all after my holidays! ^.^

For good and for bad.

2008-11-27T16:38:00.004+08:00

I finally finished my exams! I'm one free guy once again! But amidst all these happiness, something bad happened.

My computer broke down.

Seriously. I have no freaking idea what happened. Well, didn't really break down actually. But I lost all, as in ALL of my control on anything on my lappy referring to NETWORK issues. That's right. I can't connect to any network because the network functions had malfunctioned, hence, I can't go online. Unable to access to the Internet is already a terrible issue, as everyone knows. To make things worse, I can't even enable or disable my FireWall and my Windows Update. Everything about network issues can't be controlled at all. And the screen above indicates another problem. My Windows Registry is corrupted and all the System Restore save points already had the problems in them. So everything I do is useless unless I perform a reformat, which is something I WILL NOT DO. I wanna find out the main problem. Remember my friends, when your computer breaks down, by formatting it, you're only escaping from the problem. Yes indeed, it makes your computer go back to normal, but still. It's a perfect example similar to eating sleeping pills when you can't sleep.

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Without access to the Internet, I can only use the college's computer to go online, which is why I can only type English comments, Roxanne. Worse, I can't access any network at all, so no LAN games for me. To be an offline user, it's okay, but while enjoying the holidays with your friends in the hostel, it's miserable enough to party-poop your mood. =(

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But anyway, what the hell. XD I'll still find a way to end my misery. I'll find the true cause and solve it! Besides, my exams are over and there's plenty of time to enjoy myself. ^ ^

Till then guys!

Confronting the exams

2008-11-25T04:39:00.005+08:00

As we all know, most of us have our own final exams around the end of November. Including me.

Last week I got another 2 exams. One is a Murdoch (Australian) Degree exam, which is very very hard, kept me quite stressful for the days. And the other is Moral Education, where I didn't put much effort into it but still able to answer all the questions. ^ ^ (except the religion part.) Right now, I got 4 more subjects to tackle. Today (25/11), which is this day I post this blog, despite on the stress right now, is Computer Fundamentals and my favorite subject - Computer Security.

Yeah, I even made my own hand-written notes for that. If you want a copy, I can give you one. XD Well, in this subject, as you can think of the question: "Do you learn about viruses, spywares, hacking and stuff"? Well, to be honest, YES, you are able to learn them, but it's all on the theory part. Plus, it's on the positive side of teaching, so they won't teach you how to create a virus or hack other people's computers. Unfortunately. T.T But well, don't expect much though, it's just theory and words. Anyway, the other 2 are Operating Systems as well as Data Structures & Algorithms, both subjects are also tough, but I believe I can manage them all, even though I'm last-minute studying, just like most of ya.

Well then, not much to be talked about, I just feel like updating my blog during the exams. I know it sounds ignorant to my exams, but who cares anyway except me, if I don't care, who will? Hahaha! I'll go back to KK at 4 dec with my dear sis, but I'll lose contact (as in face-to-face) with all my KDU friends for 2 months till 16 feb 2009. =( Especially this one friend of mine which I believe is hard to find and I should appreciate such a friend at all times. But I heard this friend will be moving out around next year due to some inconvenience. Hope this friend doesn't leave...

Off I go, back to my studies. Good luck in your exams, people! =D

Movies I recommend!

2008-11-18T18:58:00.007+08:00

Well, as the title suggests, I'll will show you guys 3 movies that I recommend and personally, I think they'll not let you down. But if you're not into some fictions of a movie, I may be proved wrong by you all. But anyway, let's see the three! Ah-ha!

(1) Quarantine

This movie will be shown on the screens in Malaysia at November 20 or November 27, 2008.
"Quarantine" is actually a remake (or a copy) from a movie called [REC] at 2006. This movie is a FPC (First-Person Camera) movie, which means that the movie is made from a person holding the camcorder while recording. So yes, you'll be seeing EXACTLY when the camcorder records. Which includes blur vision, plenty of shaking which may give you headaches. Just take a camera and record while you walk and watch the results. That's what you'll be getting for this movie, except that this person is in her extreme state while recording. XD So if you don't like feeling dizzy while watching, better not watch it.

Anyway, this movie is from a video clip, dated March 11, 2008, recording the events in an apartment complex, Los Angeles. The residents in this apartment was never seen again. A investigating team entered the apartment and lost contact with the outside world. Then, the whole building was quarantined. There was no evidence, no witnesses and not even a single detail about the happenings in the apartment. After a long while, the video clip was found. You wanna know what happened? Go watch it!

(2) The Day the Earth Stood Still

Keanu Reeves is the main character! December 12 2008 is the release date. The Day The Earth Stood Still is a remake movie of the previous one at 1951. Keanu Reeves portrays Klaatu, an alien whose arrival on our planet triggers the world's attention. As governments and scientists race to unravel the mystery behind the visitor’s appearance, a woman (Jennifer Connelly) and her young stepson get caught up in his mission – and come to understand the ramifications of his being a self-described “friend to the Earth.” Well, not much is known about this movie, but all I know is this movie is somewhat like a disaster movie, so you'll be able to see many destructions and wars. Men and aliens perhaps. Why I think this movie is good even though I don't know what it's about? I watched the trailer, and it's fantastic to me. Besides, my instincts recommened this show to you all. If you wanna watch the trailer, you can kindly click on this movie's link at the right side of my blog.

(3) The Spirit

This is a movie from LionsGate and you'll be seeing it on the screens on Christmas (25/12/08). I find this movie's summary and contents quite fresh and interesting, although it may seem a little familiar with "Jumper".

It is the story of a former rookie cop who suddenly returns from the dead as, THE SPIRIT to fight crime from the shadows of Central City. His arch enemy THE OCTOPUS, has a different mission: he’s going to wipe out THE SPIRIT’S beloved city as he pursues his own version of immortality. THE SPIRIT tracks this cold – hearted killer..All the while facing a bevy of beautiful women who want to seduce, love or kill our masked crusader. Once again, you can check out the trailer at the right side of my blog. It may not seem as attractive as I explain it to be, but trust me, you'll enjoy this movie. =)

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Well, if you are still unsatisfied, I can introduce many of you to watch "Bolt", the superhero dog movie, and "Twilight", a vampire movie. They both can get a lot of warm welcomes as well. Both will be released at November 27, 2008. Actually I don't think there's much awesome movies at the year end, but we'll get to that next year.

So, hope you guys will enjoy the movies I recommend, and I'll be back with an update soon enough. =D

Inspired again

2008-11-15T06:45:00.002+08:00

So, yes. As you can see from the topic of my blog, for some reasons I'm inspired to revive my blog (like I did but killed it over and over again for my MSN blog >__<) but this time, I'm planning to keep it alive.

You know guys, ever since the day I stepped in college, I really learnt a lot about myself. Compared to the previous me who, well, has a lot of bad qualities, mainly pretending to be smart, cursing a lot (even though I'm still practicing it a little), showing off, and many others you guys can think of since the day we know each other. I always pretend that I'm a secretive guys, hidden in my own deep thoughts. Then I've been thinking. What's the point of doing so? To make people know that I'm smart and special? Well, yes. But now, no.

I won't be acting how I used to be for the last 6 years. I want to be more approachable for other people from now on. Most importantly, I won't pretend to be a know-it-all anymore and say "I don't know" when I really "don't know". Other than that, despite the cruelty of the flow of reality, I may not be able to physically and mentally escape from it, but spiritually, I already have.

With this spirit, I'll continue writing this blog. With much thoughts, I decided to abandon my old blog and keep using this new one. (That blog won't be deleted anyway, it's best kept for remembrance.) With this spirit, I won't be making negative, dark and pessimistic blogs, but making positive, bright and optimistic blogs.

With this spirit, I represent to you all "This One Spot".

Wait for my next blog then! It shall be here around next week.