Monday, October 17, 2011

Follow the Heart

Sometimes, the heart resonates with you in a way that you've never felt before... in a way... that you don't even know how to express it... it seems like no words, actions or emotions can express the way your heart speaks to you.

Have you ever wondered... what the heart is?

Have you ever asked yourself, what does it mean when people say, "Follow your heart"?

The heart, with or without you noticing, have always been there, sending signals to you, channeling its essence to your entire body, showing you the way and leading you in the right direction. Even though no one is there for you, your heart will always be there for you.

But how do we know that the signals we receive are the right ones, but not those that has been modified? Why is it that sometimes when we believe that what we feel is what the heart is trying to tell us and we follow it, leading us to grief, sorrow and regret for the decisions we make?

What is the heart trying to tell us? Where is the heart trying to lead us? What is it actually trying to say? Why are we getting the wrong message all the time?

What is the heart? What is it made of? Is the heart based on emotions?? Or is the heard based on thoughts? How do we know whether our instincts are right or wrong? How do we connect to our heart the right way and not misunderstanding it?

The heart... is an essence filled with love.

The heart does not tell us to follow our emotions all the time, but take time to think rationally about the decisions we are about to make.

Emotions tell us to chase after that guy/girl we are so crazy about. The heart tells us that being his/her partner is not the only way we can show our love to him/her.

Logic tells us to protect ourselves in the society and be firm so that no one will step over you or harm you. The heart tells us that there are many people in the society who are afraid or being stepped on and we should show our love to him/her to take the fear away.

Where does all the love and energy come from? Where does the heart come from? How did it become part of us? How did this source of love exist in each and every one of us? How does the heart know/feel/believe so many things, so many... right things? How do we know that we have really 'followed our heart'? How do we connect with our heart?

Aren't these answers that we should find out for ourselves?

Isn't this... why we are here for? =)

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The first few pages

My life is going great with each passing day. I meet new friends, new responsibilites, new experiences and more. I was occupied in writing down stuffs after stuffs into my book, going page after page, wanting to write more and more. I can't wait to see how the next page is going to be! I will keep writing!

Somehow, all of a sudden, my bold pen broke down. I have nothing to write on my book now. At this very moment, I felt.

This is not my style of writing.

I don't feel... myself walking through the pages.

Flipping through my life book, looking at the front pages, I asked myself, "Is this me? Is this who I am? Am I writing my real self into this book?" No... something is missing... someone is missing...

I am missing.

Where am I now? From which page did I start to leave myself behind?

Have you been calling me all the time? Have I been too busy writing the next pages ahead, until I hardly even take notice of you? Have I been neglecting you all these times, deceiving myself that I am who I am, when you're far behind crying out your heart for me to hear your voice?

Have I been rejecting you into my life?

I have not been honest with myself, with my feelings, with my guts, with my confidence. Where were all these, that I used to have before? Why are they gone? Is it because they have all been left behind, at a page behind me? Am I shaping myself into something I'm not?

"Leave everything to the Universe and let the Universe decide our path ahead." Have I been taking that as an excuse to cover up the fact that I'm scared of rejection and I fear taking risks?

This song seeps into me so much. No, it's not the name of the song that matters. It's just... the flow.

The flow that takes me back... to what I've written...

No matter. It ends as soon as it is realized. I'm sorry for leaving you behind. Now, I already got something to write on the book now. Time for me to continue writing my book.

This time, with myself.

Thank you for the pencil you have kept for me all these times.