Friday, February 27, 2009

To Live

Imagine having a life against the natural flow of aging. To make things sound more easier to understand, it's something like you're born physically old and as times pass by, you'll get younger and younger, while everyone else is getting older and older. What would a life like this be?

This one miracle guy answers them all in the movie "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". Starring Brad Pitt, this is a story about a human being born as an old man. Physically old but mentally young. As Benjamin slowly grows up, he becomes younger every day. Healed from broken bones and being crippled, Benjamin's situation can only be explained as God's miracle, nothing else. The story continues about Benjamin's story from getting old to growing young. Enjoy it if you are interested in it. =)

After seeing the movie, I was very deep in thoughts. While seeing the movie, I feel a great sense of sadness within me. Nobody wants to grow old. While you're young, you can walk, run and jump up high, full of energy and enthusiasm. As you start aging, you'll begin to get disease and your body gets weaker. You get osteoperosis easier, organ failures, fatigue. At some point, you can't even run normal anymore. It's life. People get old one day and it hurts to imagine then decades from today, you may not be able to walk or move as lively as you can anymore. You feel like appreciating everything while you're young, but you just can't do so because your life is not at its highest peak. In the end, when your life is at its fullest, you may not be energetic enough to enjoy it...

About aging, that reminds me of accepting death. It really hurts to see someone you truly love leave you . Of course, they'll remain in your heart, that's what you'll say, but just imagine, whenever you thought of that person, there's a burning feeling within you to urge yourself to meet that person, to talk to that person, to stay with that person for just a little while, to feel that sense of warmth and happiness with the company of that loved one, which can no longer be with you......

Well, that's all I can say about the movie, don't know what else to type. So well, as a conclusion, I feel afraid of getting old and dying, but well, the only thing we can all do now is wait and appreciate what we have now, don't you think? ^ ^

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

To think that life is full of choices, whereby each and every step you take counts in determining your future. Some stepped right into a pit, never coming out of it; some stepping on a staircase, gradually ascending to reach for the stars; while some may just step on the pavement full of rocks and dungs, dodging them along the way. I just realized that life is whatever you made up of it from. So yeah, live the way you want your life to be. I've been saying that for a lot of times now. XD

Anyway, I'm now at a place in my college called "The Learning Center" (TLC), currently typing on a public computer out of boredom. Right now, my lecturer will be coming soon to teach us about a degree subject: Data Structures and Abstractions. If you want to know how hard it'll be, just search up the meaning of Abstractions. I'll be making a new post about racist problem shortly....hope I won't offend like before....gotta start to stop simply using my feelings to assume.

Off I go then.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009


This blog is a tribute to 4 of my friends: Ice, Water, Rock & Gold. =)

人生的路 – 不管有多么艰难困苦, 都要勇敢地向前走.

这是我第二次使用华文来写我的blog. 当然, 一个像我这样的人突然间会以这种方法来表达自己的意思, 会有一点奇怪吧! 所以如果之中有任何语病, 请原谅! >__<

自从我回到沙巴的那一天, 我对人生改观了很多. 回来西马过后, 才发觉到自己的思想变了很多. 想当年, 我有很多不好的毛病, 使不少人对我有偏见. 至今, 想回去以前的‘我’时, 我觉得自己是有多么的好笑. 好吧, 就让我和你们分享我的缺点. 不好意思啦, 让我啰嗦一下!

以前的我, 是非常喜欢扮聪明的. 对于很多事物, 虽然我真的不懂, 但是我会扮知道, 因为不想被人看不起. 在里头, 我最后悔的一项就是自以为是. 在解决问题时, 我一直都会以自己的意思去处理, 更会随便判断对错. 直到一天, 有一个女孩和我讲心事, 说自己在选大学的方面,父母给她很大压力, 她觉得很辛苦. 我以为她暂时完全不想进大学, 也不敢告诉父母实话, 我便过去告诉她的父母亲. 之后, 她被父母责骂. 其实, 她完全没有埋怨, 更没有‘不想读大学’的念头. 就这样, 我少了一个朋友. 当时, 我反省了: 当一个人要处理任何问题时, 一定要理智, 不可以冲动, 要好好地思考最佳解决办法. 不仅如此, 倘若某个问题是牵涉到另一个人时. 不可以太主观, 偶尔也要考虑别人的感受和决定. 要尝试去知道另一方究竟想什么, 要什么. 这样一来, 会更容易把问题给解决.

然后, 我以前很难才能做好一个决定. 因为我很害怕做错决定, 使我后悔. 虽然我有了决定, 但是我很容易被别人影响. 只是从他们的嘴巴说出的几句话都已经足够来让我无法下定决心. 此外, 我也很害怕会得罪/伤害人, 所以自己不敢提出/发表我的意见和立场. 最后, 我的朋友都说我没有主见. 如果一个人时常因为怕得罪/伤害人, 或者是要随着别人的意思去做的话, 最辛苦的人, 始终都是自己… 所以我答应了自己要有主见, 坚持自己的立场.

之前, 我来KDU的时候, 一个朋友都没有. 因为觉得太孤独, 非常需要朋友, 把自己原本的性格掩盖了. 一个‘假’我形成了, 而这个‘假’我是为了要被别人欢喜, 接受而制造出来的. 当有了固定的好朋友后, 因为自己知道无论如何都会有这些好朋友在身边支持. 就这样, 自己真正的性格和态度将会显示出来. 所以, 找到了好朋友, 一个人不可以太得意忘形, 要时时刻刻看到自己, 以免露出不好的一面. 身为一个朋友, 我们都不想它发生吧…

最后, 如果从我妈妈身上学到一个道理, 那就是 “肯付出就不可在意”. 帮父母做工的时候, 我会在意父母会给我什么礼物/奖赏. 直到去年, 发觉自己和蔼可亲的妈妈照顾及爱护我了二十年, 她却没有要求任何回报. 世上的妈妈太伟大了. T.T 如果真心爱一个人的话, 就算为对方付出, 但对方不为你付出, 都不能介意, 埋怨.

好啦, 不啰嗦了. 就这样吧. 这些道理, 我好不容易才体会到, 所以我很想在这里和你们分享啦. 如果你遇到的境况就犹如我上述所说的一样的话, 就好好去看, 了解, 明白, 学习吧! 希望通过这些话, 能够帮助你们啦. 有任何得罪之处请多多包涵.

Thank you for your time!^^

Friday, February 13, 2009

People say that 14 February is Valentine's Day. Well, to me, there's something far more important about this day than Valentine's Day. I'm going back to college. Yep, time passes fast, 2 and a half months are gone. Like any regular Sabahan, he/she will definitely miss Sabah like hell and wishes not to leave anymore. In the end, he/she'll be back in KL. T.T

Other than that, I'm leaving my hometown, this time very worried and moody. There are some happenings that are beyond your control. What makes it worse is that these happenings are beyond your sight. Could this be good - to make you unable to see the bad happenings? Or just to keep me away from it?

As you'll know, I always imply on what I really want to say. Asides that, I'll always leave a hidden hint somewhere in any post that has me implying in it.

But anyway, I'm finally going back.

She's getting weaker....

Monday, February 9, 2009


Once again, I lost track of updating my blog again. >__<

Coming back to KL on 14th feb, or Valentine's Day for some of you, I'm pretty sure only a few people will be travelling at that day, because I know plenty of people, specifically couples, will not prefer to have any minute of February 14 to be wasted on flights, do they? They must have reached their destinations already before that day, pack their schedules full for the day and for the night, have a hotel room booked for their "quality time". =3

Valentine's Day? Me? Will you really think that I'll have one? XD

Let's not get to that. Anyway, I know that right now I have no rights to argue or mention anything about love, because I'm so inexperienced, but to me, love is blissful and warm, but complicated and contradict(矛盾). Love comes and leaves beyond anyone's control and it's definitely not something to die for. Love is the remedy for single's starvation and the venom for depression. Some people try bravely without thinking about the consequences, while some others do not dare to go for it, due to being too cautious, remaining single all the time. I'm sure saying this would be quite sensitive to some of you, but please forgive me if I said anything wrong, don't forget I'm inexperienced. Haha!

After hearing many of my friends' experiences on love matters, I think: should I find a girl that I have feelings towards her and go for it? At first, I MAY HAVE FELL for this. Then, after redeeming myself, I realized that IF i really like a girl, I would not have the guts to go after her. You may say that this is a cowardly action, but to me, how can I possibly try and love or care for someone else, IF i can't even take care of my own self? It sounds funny, doesn't it? After I can manage and take care of myself, then I may consider... But perhaps by that moment I'll be single. T.T But as long as I'm concerned, I will not be thinking about love right now.

Once again, I hope you guys can share with us what you think about 'love' and anything else you like to. If you feel like commenting but don't know how, all you have to do is click the 'Comments' button below, wait for the pop-up, then type your comment and check the third tab of the identity section (Name/URL), you don't have to put a URL, just your name will do, click the "Publish Comment" button and you're done. Hopefully, I can get to hear the voices of you guys. =D

My words may be true at this moment, but who knows? Maybe one day a girl will rock my world upside down. If things and love are meant to bend that way, I may end up as someone's boyfriend through fate and time and there's nothing anybody can do about it. I won't think about love at all, but maybe after that I will all day. After that, whatever I mention above is referred to as 'crap' and 'nonsense'.

Being self contradictory? Me? My friend, love is contradict after all, isn't it? =)